I actually subscribe to a belief that is slightly similar to what you've put out here. I know exactly why I would choose my life...

If I did have a soul that got to flip through a life catalogue and pick this one out, I know at the very core of myself I love an uphill battle. So if my soul is like me, then of course she'd pick something like this.

I feel too awkward to share the extent of my thoughts and beliefs but I can say that no one deserves a horrible childhood, and I don't think anyone in their right mind would choose it for themselves or anyone else. On a spiritual level though, I do and can make sense of it.

I don't know how the battles are picked, or why they are assigned to who they are... I don't know why some people live to 101 and others die barely weeks in to their lives. It has to have some meaning though... at least I think so. From what I've read about the process of therapy is that eventually a survivor can 'make meaning' out of their experiences. I think this belief is one way that people are able to come to terms with the meaning of things that are nearly incomprehensible to the mind.

I am somewhat comforted by your thoughts Cat. Thank you.

Thank you Cat I wonder if there is some sort of book on this subject? It seems intriguing.

I do believe there is some sort of meaning...it is just finding the meaning.

T.

I think this is probably going to sound weird, and it might not be helpful in the least, but I had an experience when I was pretty young that makes me wonder about that idea of a contract.

I think of it like the day I realized I was on the earth and was me. I was a toddler and I was sitting in the sand at the bottom of my driveway poking around with rocks and stuff, and then it was like something got my attention and I "came to." I just remember it was like I was suddenly aware and like I had just really arrived here and arrived inside myself. And it was quiet and calm and good, and this gets even weirder. I looked up at the sky, and I feel like "they" were dropping me off, and when they left they checked with me if I was OK to be there and if I was OK with the life I was going to have and I said YES.
Years later when I felt very bad, maybe around eight or ten, I tried to sit in that same spot and feel good again like I did that day. I knew it wasn't very likely, but I tried, and no, I didn't feel better. But I never forgot that sensation. I felt good and clear at the time.

I don't know why I said Yes to my life, but I feel as though I did know some of what was to come, on some level, and I agreed to it. I did say yes.

I've never heard of this concept & it sounds interesting. I myself, do believe in karma & that life is cyclical. If we had a crappy childhood we might get a break as an adult etc. with me I have the opportunity to make my rotten childhood fade a bit when I get to play w/ my kids & fingerprint, bake & all the things I wasn't allowed to do. Does it mean something bad will naturally follow? Maybe, but I have to focus on the hear & now. Who knows maybe I paid for my childhood already & it's smooth sailing the rest of the way home. Or maybe not...just a thought.

Quell: Thank you for sharing your experience! I love the part where you said yes to life

Mudd: I always felt my worst years were behind me ... that all changed when this current situation happened...I question everything now.

I don't know of a book... Maybe check amazon or do an online search? I came at my own stuff (beliefs) on my own.

Thank you Catalyst...will definitely be looking

((daggers)) that was powerful to read! I hope to get there one day and be truly thankful for the life I've been given. There's a lot of wisdom in your words! Thank you for them