Hugs Butterfly. - yes this T didn't sound like a good fit at all, glad you didn't pursue it and listened to your gut feeling. It would have been red flags for me too.
Keep trying. Be gentle on yourself - I know it is exhausting work finding a new T - but try again. Everyone here will support you.
((((butterfly)))
i'm sorry this T was such a dissapointment
what kind of a T tells you she will be retiring next year??!
give yourself a break for a while if you need it, but I also think a good T will be able to really help you with this, and you shouldnt be left dealing with it on your own.
do you think you would be able to find an experienced T just for a consultation - even if they're not in your area but might be able to refer you to someone else who is. this is what your old T should have done, she should have refered you to someone else, it is so unethical that she didn't.
i know how emotionally exhausting it is, but i dont' want you to lose hope.
puppet
i'm sorry this T was such a dissapointment
what kind of a T tells you she will be retiring next year??!give yourself a break for a while if you need it, but I also think a good T will be able to really help you with this, and you shouldnt be left dealing with it on your own.
do you think you would be able to find an experienced T just for a consultation - even if they're not in your area but might be able to refer you to someone else who is. this is what your old T should have done, she should have refered you to someone else, it is so unethical that she didn't.
i know how emotionally exhausting it is, but i dont' want you to lose hope.
puppet
I'm so sorry it didn't work out, Butterfly- I think it's good that you followed your gut feeling. you know right away, if it'a good fit and will work out or not. I saw a few T's and emailed many more, before I met Cowboy. It was clear right away that I could work with him...and you are right- it is exhausting to go through that search, and I completely understand if it's just not something you feel able to pursue. I think that when you feel ready to try again, you will. In the meantime, let us support you with your stuff- keep talking about your feelings here, it really does help, and it can be a lifeline, so many times. ((((((((Butterfly)))))
Love,
BB
Love,
BB
Aw flutters,
Don't give up please...are there other Ts that you can try? I know that the whole process is very disheartening, but I too am glad that you made an early decision not to stick that one out.
starfishy
Don't give up please...are there other Ts that you can try? I know that the whole process is very disheartening, but I too am glad that you made an early decision not to stick that one out.
starfishy
(((( Butterfly ))))
That sounds like a first session from hell. I don't blame you for leaving after only a short time. Having her announce that she's retiring mid next year (which effectively makes the therapy time limited and so not much good in terms of trust and attachment) would be bad enough, but her not being able to offer regular weekly sessions either AND making ridiculous comments about just having to push harder or work more... ack.
I'm so sorry though, as it obviously cost you a lot emotionally just to set up that appointment in the first place. I do hope you aren't feeling too defeated though, if it's any consolation I've worked my way through dozens of Ts until I found one who I think is right for me and it really took its toll on me emotionally. I hope that you can find it within yourself to keep pushing until you find someone for you as well.
LL
That sounds like a first session from hell. I don't blame you for leaving after only a short time. Having her announce that she's retiring mid next year (which effectively makes the therapy time limited and so not much good in terms of trust and attachment) would be bad enough, but her not being able to offer regular weekly sessions either AND making ridiculous comments about just having to push harder or work more... ack.
I'm so sorry though, as it obviously cost you a lot emotionally just to set up that appointment in the first place. I do hope you aren't feeling too defeated though, if it's any consolation I've worked my way through dozens of Ts until I found one who I think is right for me and it really took its toll on me emotionally. I hope that you can find it within yourself to keep pushing until you find someone for you as well.
LL
Hats off to you (((Butterfly))) for leaving that session - talk about off the wall!!! She had no right to agree to a meeting knowing she's retiring and then landing all that crap on you!!! Try (I know almost impossible) to gather yourself together again and seek out someone else and keep talking with us please!! There are quite a few here who've had to piss off a few Ts before finding a fit, so please don't give up!!
Morgs xx
Morgs xx
Sorry for not responding sooner. I feel like I am in a black hole at the moment and I am really struggling right now . I am dealing with a lot of change at the moment so the timing could not have been worse.
I did email a couple more T's as I really need some support but again they won't discuss me seeing them less unless it is in person which they will charge me for
Puppet, my old T did give me a couple of names when I left her but their websites didn't appeal to me and now I no longer live in the area.
Thank you SD, Puppet, BB, Starfish, LL and Morgs for your continued support.
Butterfly
. I am dealing with a lot of change at the moment so the timing could not have been worse. I did email a couple more T's as I really need some support but again they won't discuss me seeing them less unless it is in person which they will charge me for
Puppet, my old T did give me a couple of names when I left her but their websites didn't appeal to me and now I no longer live in the area.
Thank you SD, Puppet, BB, Starfish, LL and Morgs for your continued support.
Butterfly
Keep trying Butterfly, it is really hard - but you have to keep searching.
(((((BUTTERFLY)))))
Thinking of you.
xoxo
Liese
Thinking of you.
xoxo
Liese
Hugs butterfly - I wish it was not so hard for you
starfishy
starfishy
Hey butterfly, how are you doing? Sending gentle hugs and thoughts,
starfishy
starfishy
Thank you for checking in with me Starfishy.
I did go and see a T last week but I don't think she was right for me. She was nice enough to offer me weekly sessions and to reduce the fees but there was no warmth to her whatsoever. She was not at all impressed that I could afford to run my car but not pay the full fees for therapy and I had to justify why I needed my car If I tried to make a joke with her the way she reacted made me feel like a naughty kid. She said that noone will be like my old T so it will be a struggle with whoever I see, which I know but I just couldn't imagine opening up to her at all. Oh well, at least I didn't leave after 10 mins.
I have one more to try this week. It was someone that was recommended to me a while back alongside a couple of others, one of whom was my old T, so I re-visited the list and found one that wasn't too far from me and who is still practicing. I am praying she will be ok for me, I really need her to be, which means I am putting way too much on it working out. If it doesn't I will definitely leave it.
I had a dream the other night that old T had changed her mind and I could work with her again. It was so painful waking up to reality
Thank you for all the support you have offered me.
Butterfly
I did go and see a T last week but I don't think she was right for me. She was nice enough to offer me weekly sessions and to reduce the fees but there was no warmth to her whatsoever. She was not at all impressed that I could afford to run my car but not pay the full fees for therapy and I had to justify why I needed my car
If I tried to make a joke with her the way she reacted made me feel like a naughty kid. She said that noone will be like my old T so it will be a struggle with whoever I see, which I know but I just couldn't imagine opening up to her at all. Oh well, at least I didn't leave after 10 mins.I have one more to try this week. It was someone that was recommended to me a while back alongside a couple of others, one of whom was my old T, so I re-visited the list and found one that wasn't too far from me and who is still practicing. I am praying she will be ok for me, I really need her to be, which means I am putting way too much on it working out
. If it doesn't I will definitely leave it.I had a dream the other night that old T had changed her mind and I could work with her again. It was so painful waking up to reality
Thank you for all the support you have offered me.
Butterfly
Hi Butterfly,
Thanks for updating us. Glad that you made it through a whole session but have to agree that it doesn't sound like a good match. Humor is very important to me and one of my healthier coping mechanisms so a T without a sense of humor would keep me looking elsewhere also. I think going back to the referral list on which you found your old T was just brilliant. I really hope you find a better match with this T.
You should be very proud of yourself for continuing to search for what you need to heal despite the grief and the fear. This is a real achievement no matter how these sessions turn out. Please let us know how it goes.
AG
Thanks for updating us. Glad that you made it through a whole session but have to agree that it doesn't sound like a good match. Humor is very important to me and one of my healthier coping mechanisms so a T without a sense of humor would keep me looking elsewhere also. I think going back to the referral list on which you found your old T was just brilliant. I really hope you find a better match with this T.
You should be very proud of yourself for continuing to search for what you need to heal despite the grief and the fear. This is a real achievement no matter how these sessions turn out. Please let us know how it goes.
AG
Oh (((Flutters)))
She certainly wasn't even remotely a good fit!! How dare she make that comment about your car - certainly running your car is much more necessary and importand than therapy with the likes of her
I do hope the next interview is better, but if not, don't give up - keep looking. Sorry about your dream - it's normal - you waited so long for something that has eventuated so are grieving In the meantime be gentle with yourself.
Love, Morgs xx
She certainly wasn't even remotely a good fit!! How dare she make that comment about your car - certainly running your car is much more necessary and importand than therapy with the likes of her
I do hope the next interview is better, but if not, don't give up - keep looking. Sorry about your dream - it's normal - you waited so long for something that has eventuated so are grieving In the meantime be gentle with yourself.Love, Morgs xx
Aww Butterfly
I liked her 
She was much more what I was looking for. She is not my T but she is warm and understanding and does seem to understand the pain of losing a T. I have booked another session with her so we shall see how it goes.
Thank you ((xoxo, AG, Morgs, Echoes and JMB)), it makes me feel much better to know that I'm not the only one that the other T wouldn't have worked for.
Butterfly
She was much more what I was looking for. She is not my T but she is warm and understanding and does seem to understand the pain of losing a T. I have booked another session with her so we shall see how it goes.I believe this too and I am hoping it is true for me on this occasion.quote:I have faith in Ts who get referrals...think some of the best are recommended by other professionals
Thank you ((xoxo, AG, Morgs, Echoes and JMB)), it makes me feel much better to know that I'm not the only one that the other T wouldn't have worked for.
Butterfly
quote:One of the reasons you should keep your car on the road is to drive as fast away from people like that as you can,( but not before driving over their toes first ) Cool !
well said!!! Flutterby, my butterfly- I am glad you like her. so gald. That is a good sign.
Much love from your,
Beebs
Butterfly I am so happy for you that you have found someone worth booking another session with and that she seems warm and understanding. It's important to feel comfortable with the T you decide to work with. Therapy is hard enough.
Please keep us posted on how the next session goes.
I'll be thinking of you
TN
Please keep us posted on how the next session goes.
I'll be thinking of you
TN
Flutters,
Am really happy that this T sounds hopeful and possibly someone you can work with. That's good news....will keep everything crossed it continues to work out.
Starfishy
Am really happy that this T sounds hopeful and possibly someone you can work with. That's good news....will keep everything crossed it continues to work out.
Starfishy
(((Flutters))) this is just so good to hear - yeah I know, one swallow does not a summer make, but really you sound very hopeful and positive and your're going to see her again - that's just great!!
s, Morgs
s, Morgs