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I was reviewing the therapy journals covering the last 21 months in therapy and I came across some heated exchanges...I have to say I was laughing at them...I definitely wasn't laughing when I was in the office with him...

Anyway, I will share some...and then if you have any you want to share...would love to hear them Smiler

So, this particular day he asked me about a sensitive subject..

Me: "I don't want to talk about it."

T: "Why don't you want to talk about it?"

Me: "You're the expert! You tell me!"

T: "You're the one avoiding the subject, so, you tell me."

I can't count the number of times I have gotten up to walk out...just this last week actually and he would say, "You have 30 minutes left. You need to come back over here and sit down so we can finish talking about this."

One time I was having such strong emotions coming up that I literally felt I wanted to run away (seems to happen a lot). I told him I had to go...to get out of there to go run...he said, "You can go running in 15 minutes when the session is over..."

One week we had a very difficult session...

Me: "I am not allowed to ask questions?"

T: "Not if it's to trump the Therapist!"

Me: "I don't know what to say to that..."

We were both not happy with each other that week and so the following week..it seemed we were on a collision course again...

Me: "I am not going through what we went through last week again..."

T: "I am definitely not going through what we went through last week again..."

It's funny now...it certainly wasn't funny when it was happening in the office...

SmilerT.
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TAS,

First of all, it is so good to see you back and sharing your struggles with T. I have to admit that I'm not surprised that you're still with him and still hashing it out. I've always thought (though rarely voice) that you two are doing good (but really, really hard) work together.

You sound a lot like me, so forgive me if I'm projecting my experiences onto yours. I hear the wounded part of you very clearly in these exchanges, and your T taking on a role of the stern (but loving) father who is clearly laying out boundaries. He is committed to you, and apparently, you are to him, too.

I don't mean to belittle your responses. In fact, I often feel the same way, and when I look back at something--particularly in the tirade vein--that I've sent to my T, I can clearly see the wounded, distrustful part. And when I see your exchanges, I think I see something similar. FWIW. Smiler
Thank you Outsider Smiler

Thank you for your kind words...he is very firm and though I may not like him too much of the time, I do respect him because he is firm...

Sometimes the important thing is we get what we need and not necessarily what we want...

It's good to know Outsider that you relate and you've had similar experiences...sometimes the journey feels so lonely.

T.

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