Good Morning, Jones, and welcome to the forum! This site has been a tremendous source of support and encouragement for me, too. I joined back in June, but I'm still reading through old posts and learning so much. It is invaluable for getting perspective in a way that feels safe, and for not feeling like I'm "the only one" who wonders certain things, feels certain things, etc. I'm glad you have found it helpful too.

I had to laugh at your term "overthinker" because I'm one of those too. That trait has helped up to a point, but a few years ago I started to realize that there are some things I can't see, much less change, about myself, by myself. And I was excited to eventually find out that therapy can be a way to see and change those things about myself that can only be seen "in relationship" with someone else. I like the sounds of your current T, how she draws your attention to your behavior in the relationship. My new T is like that too.

I'm glad you decided to jump in and I look forward to getting to know you better.

Take care,
SG

Hi Jones,
Welcome to the forums! I'm really glad you decided to post and even happier that you've been finding help here. Its a really supportive community with a great deal of wisdom and support. Please feel free to talk about how your feeling and what you're going through. The theraputic relationship is unique and not quite like any other and it really helps to be able to talk to other people who understand because they're going through it too. And I really relate to what you said about spacing out and distancing. I had NO idea how cut off from my own emotions I was (and terrified of getting close to someone) until I started working with my T. And to quote SG, I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

AG

Hi SG and AG - thanks so much for the welcome, I really appreciate it.

AG, it's weird, I've always thought I was really in touch with my emotions, because I'm always feeling things really strongly, 'flooded' is the word that comes up with my T. Now it's starting to seem like maybe that's just the tip of the (melted) iceberg, and I can see I have all these tricks (hundreds of tricks!) working just to keep afloat. No wonder I get tired.

But then part of me is really doubtful (and scared?) of this way of seeing myself; maybe this is ALL just overthinking - I'm just paying someone else to do it with me!! and if I just got focused instead and got on with things... blablahblah.... Of course I guess if I knew how to do that well I wouldn't be in therapy.

SG, it sounds like you have found someone good to work with. I feel like I know you all a little bit already from reading the site and I'm really glad you've found someone.

I have a very full spectrum of responses to my therapist. On the down side, she works in a group practice where appointments are made with the receptionist week by week, and sometimes my day changes. Last week she finally said, you know, the thing to do is to book for several weeks at a time, so you get the same slot. I hadn't said anything but it had been quietly upsetting/unsettling me, and I wish she had pointed this out to me at the beginning. I'd talk to her about it but seems like I have three thousand other things to cover each time - and I don't feel quite close enough to her yet to say something like that.

On the upside, I notice that every single week she says something that tells me she has been thinking about me/my history/our sessions in between. It always catches me by surprise, and I love it! Way to feel cared for and connected.

Thanks for the space to talk about these things. Seems like they should be a small deal on my psychic landscape and they are not. Reading you all has let me feel like that's okay and not as weird/inexplicably obsessive as it was feeling.

Looking forward to talking with you more!

J

Hi Jones...welcome to the forum!

I'm a newish enough poster around here and I have to reiterate what a help it has been to read so many stories and accounts that I could relate with.

I used to love my T's ability to focus my mind on my attempts to dodge questions, how I was sighing or my body was tensing up. He seemed so in tune with my feelings. But then again, maybe I'm easy to read. My friends tell me it is usually obvious from my demeanor how I feel. Seems like I'm very good at keeping these feelings from myself.

I'm starting with a new T at the moment so I'm trying to get comfortable as well. I, too, am an "overthinker" to such a point that I just want to take a holiday from my mind at the moment and have wanted this for a long time. I find it incredibly difficult to switch off and stop worrying. I can honestly say I think I am never really at ease. So it can be very helpful to have a T who tries to get you to focus on your emotions rather then thinking about various issues all of the time.

Good luck and I look forward to chatting with you more in the future.

Mrs. P

PS: sorry I didn't reply earlier...been a bit all over the place (nothing new!)

Hi Mrs Prufrock,

Thanks so much for the welcome. Yeah, a brain-holiday would be really nice! Often when I'm doing lots of anxious-thinking (and thinking about the thinking, and thinking about the thinking about the thinking) I can't see where it's coming from. Maybe learning more about the feelings will help. I also find I can interrupt it with exercise, dancing (my passion!) and sometimes other stuff. Can't always do this, but sometimes....

hope you get comfy with the therapist soon.

J