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Wow.. Thanks for all the hugs, everyone.

I had knee surgery a few weeks ago and am still in the midst of a lot of pain from that.. My mother moved in and it's the busiest time of year at work, so a lot has been going on lately. Things are going OK with new T. I had a three week break between sessions with her following my surgery, during which I thought SERIOUSLY about never calling her again. I talked about it with her last week, and it ended up being a good session. She was quite willing to reassure me that she doesn't want to pressure me at all and that all she wants is for her office to be a safe place where I can feel cared for.

She's a body based therapist specializing in childhood trauma, so she has a lot of skills at hand. Namely, she gets me to focus on my breathing a lot, which I now know is shallow 24/7. But when I'm there, she helps me loosen my chest a bit with some breathing exercises and I consistently leave with a noticeable release in my chest and a sense of relaxation that I'm not used to. Even if the session was very hard emotionally, she's very good about getting me back to a completely grounded place before I leave. So I'm starting to feel safe in her care, which is quite a nice thing.

Anyway, I need to run.. Thank you for all the overwhelming support. Maybe I canbe around more than I expect, but I don't see it happening at the moment.

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