(((Anon)))

((((anon))))

You can do this! Ditto... to all of it, Red Tomato!

DR

(((ANON)))

I can apreciate how difficult it would be to open those envelopes.

(((HIC))) Thanks for the hugs.

(((RedTomato))) Yeah, I'm planning on waiting until H gets home, but now that I know I don't have to leave the house anymore, the temptation is really strong to just "get it over with."

(((Cat))) Thanks. I know it's the right decision to wait, but it's hard. Also, thanks on the letter opening advice. I'm pretty sure the smaller one is just a claim response, but I could be wrong. The medium might be that as well. The largest is almost certainly a response to my demand that they respond to my repeated requests to document the calculations they're using. I didn't need an excuse to get out early, because she had a job right after, but she did complain that she had wanted to be at my house instead (which I picked up on, but she did some really subtle, manipulative stuff last time in the privacy of my home, so I felt better being in public).

(((deeplyrooted))) I did it. I'm having a lot of, "Mom was so normal and OK and did fine with Boo and me," but she's usually like that in public, two personas and all that. I'm trying to really take in what my T was saying about accepting her toxicity toward me (not as a reason to attack her, but to just not attack myself).

(((Liese))) Thanks. I know you've had some hard insurance stuff to, so you really good.


I couldn't make eye contact with my mom most of the time. I've never been aware until now how much I avoid it. I mean, way, way more than with T or anyone else. I also felt compelled to keep telling her information, all while trying to keep back things she might use against me. Of course, she asks about therapy and stuff and since the last time she made a sarcastic comment about my "difficult childhood," I really try not to give her information on it. Anyone else asking things, I would just think it was them being interested, even if it felt weird. With her, I feel like she's trying to get ammo.

(((Cat))) I never thought of yelling at the automated person. Most of the time I spend trying to keep H from losing it on the real people, lol. Yeah, mom laying off would be nice. Questions about how things are going become, "Oh, well, how are often are you going?" and when I said "we" referring to H and me, she made sure to ask how many of those times were his vs. mine. Ugh. NOYB!!! Last time she was in my house, she started looking around, telling me how I'm paying way too much for what I'm getting, how we never would have lost our place to foreclosure if we had let her help (but she is depending on my grandfather not to lose her own places, so ) and how I should leave this place and just rent from her instead. I really think it either disturbs or infuriates her that I am so stubbornly independent when the rest of her kids financially entangle themselves. So, thus started the subtle digs on my ability to take care of myself on my own, which is why I don't want her here. She mentioned to me how she had meant she wanted to visit at my place, said it was fun, and went on to ask Boo for permission to visit their next time, telling her all the fun stuff they can do at our place together... Yeah, um, in retrospect, that was f---ed up!

Grr...anyway...insurance was: a bunch of reprocessed claims from January through February (which I've already seen online for like a month now), two tiny checks that I can't even figure out if their accurate and am paranoid to deposit them, since previous checks were all mistakes, and a collection notice for one of the previously mistaken claims. They told me to deposit a check in the beginning of February, an error in my favor, an there would be no repercussions...then told me not to deposit two others and said nothing would happen, they'd just get voided. I don't even know which it is, since the amounts don't match and two of the checks were for the same claim. Anyway, so now they keep sending me collections notices, meanwhile holding on my existing claims. So, no news, just more of the same, sigh.

I can so relate. Even birthday presents, if they were a little bit nice were, "Well, I bought you ______ for your birthday, so you owe me to _______," usually taking care of her kids or doing stuff around the house as a kid when I would try to resist on the basis of school obligations, etc. I know better than to do financial entanglement with her.

(((Cat))) LOL, I like your idea. Maybe the giants can process my claims better.

(((BG))) Thank you.

Got the answer today. Appeal denied again, with no detailed explanation beyond, "Just like we said before, no." To add insult to injury, they just improperly processed a bunch of claims, even below their low-ball rates, missed codes, didn't give us the correct coinsurance percentage per our agreement, costing us hundreds of dollars they owe us. I don't know if this is punishment, incompetence, or both. Since no one at the company will actually talk to us anymore, I'm not exactly sure how to get it fixed. H's company is trying to go through the broker to make it happen, but the insurance company said they'd talk to nobody about us.

Basically, I guess because we're covered by Federal and not State laws for our plans, bad faith (in having been told several lies, like probably a dozen at this point about how our plan/rates were going to be) doesn't apply. H still wants to try to fight it. I want to be done. It's been messing with my mind long enough and I'm wondering if I am making this whole thing up and it's actually my fault and if everyone else thinks the same thing...

(((Poppy))) Thanks for the support. Things were much simpler (though too expensive) before I knew we had insurance.

(((Irish))) This is actually already the state appeal. The state still has to reply to the insurance company, company but I don't think they can override it in this case, as it's not an issue of complete denial but a rate dispute. I think they are basically allowed to lie to us, because the federal law (ERISA) supersedes state law (which includes bad faith, according to the lawyer). So, even though I have written evidence from emails and phone calls (sometimes with witnesses from H's company) that I was told I would have different contract terms, and written quotes in higher amounts, they probably won't be enforced. They are basically legally allowed to give me wrong information for months and then choose to process things differently (their website still estimates the higher amounts). Because the federal law doesn't allow for damages, no lawyer will work on contingency, so if we want to fight, it's thousands of dollars up front that we won't recover if we lose. Plus, it's arbitration, not in court. It makes very little sense to fight. T will keep working with me at last year's rate (which we can just barely afford). Insurance instructed me to pay his full rate for the codes we were using, then took over a month to tell me they would only allow 60% of it. Anyway, they wouldn't be doing this if they couldn't get away with it, so why keep fighting? They are already violating federal law by refusing to send me the exact documentation of how they calculated my rates and other questions about how I was told my plan works. Obviously, they CAN do it without ramifications, so they will. I'm so sorry you are insurance hell with me. I guess we can take solace in knowing it's a well-populated region.

Also, to anyone who is noticing the greater number of typos (or complete nonsense) I've been writing, I sometimes write from my Kindle now, and it makes for some interesting posts.