This might be sort of the difference between sympathy and empathy though.. both actually are inclusive of each other. Feeling 'sorry for' includes a level of compassion, and feeling compassion includes a level of sympathy.

So here is my best idea on the difference between the two. My T always says to try to have compassion for myself - and I consider compassion to be being genuinely sensitive to. Doing things I like on purpose, being nice to myself on purpose. Where feeling sorry would be having thoughts like "why me/poor me" in a way (those aren't the words I want to use but they are the best I have right now) but it does include compassion because it's validating that it's something difficult. I see feeling sorry as feeling 'about' something where compassion is feeling/doing 'for' something.

That's just my crackpot theory based on what I do for myself

I only have a minute, but I just wanted to comment really quickly.

Hmm. Muff, can you elaborate on what you're saying regarding feeling sorry for someone? I am just wondering because something like feeling sorry for someone (sympathy) is not something I've ever seen as similar to being angry with someone. In my opinion, sympathy isn't synonymous with (repressed) anger, but it's more of a way of expressing understanding without actually being able to place yourself in their shoes. Not saying either is right or wrong, I was just hoping you might elaborate a little bit.

I somehow seem to relate feeling sorry for someone with pity, while having compassion for them is more favorable, and more empathetic?

I like the way Cat explained it - compassion as being sensitive toward, while feeling sorry is why me/poor me - I definitely connect with that explanation when relating it to myself.

Hey everyone,

Thanks for the helpful perspectives. I asked a friend about this recently and she told me that "feeling sorry" for someone had a more negative connotation, because it carries condescending or patronizing implications, whereas compassion is more like "feeling with" someone, in an equal to equal kind of way.

This would tend to make some sense of the way my T was using the phrase. At least more sense than would be made by using the terms interchangeably. What do you all think?

quote:

Originally posted by heldincompassion:
I asked a friend about this recently and she told me that "feeling sorry" for someone had a more negative connotation, because it carries condescending or patronizing implications, whereas compassion is more like "feeling with" someone, in an equal to equal kind of way.

This is a really good way of explaining it, and basically what I was thinking as I read the thread. I think the difference in connotation is the most important part, and perhaps that's the distinction your T draws between the two.

Hey HIC,

I finally have the time to come back to this thread!

Yeah, feeling sorry for someone does seem to have a more negative connotation, but not always (at least in my opinion). Sometimes we feel sorry for someone because we just can't put ourselves in their shoes to be able to really understand what they're feeling, so the best we can do is feel sorry for them and acknowledge that the situation they're in is unfortunate, but we can't relate to it.

Also, just the phrase "feeling sorry" for someone is what has the negative connotation, but if you call that the definition for sympathy, you tend to lose that negative connotation. Because feeling sorry for someone (when it's not in the form of pity or condescension) is essentially what sympathy is.

Compassion is kind of like feeling with someone, but it's more characterized by the desire to ease someone's suffering. That's one thing that differentiates it from empathy.

Anyway, these are somewhat my opinions, but compassion does tend to be defined as a desire to ease the suffering of another person. But every one of us takes different perspectives when looking at these things, because personal experiences can have a big effect on how we think of these constructs.

((hugs))