(((AG))) I'm thinking of you. And glad you moved that bean out of your space.

Thank you for your comments and forgive me for not addressing them directly. I am not handling this well. I'm not even sure why this is looming so large, but I am finding it difficult to find my voice. I have lost any sense of safety and so it is difficult to speak. I feel broken in a way I have not felt before. Or I am remembering what it felt like, I am not sure. I'm sorry.

AG

Thinking of you AG. It will get better again

(((AG)))

(((AG)))

quote:

I had a truly brutal session today and a lot of anger at both my T and my parents came up.

I think you would understand my envy AG.

This talk of your gift trinket box for T surely represents some form of acceptance of your own femininity AG? And It would certainly be a trigger if no one recognized, and respected it as such.

I can see how you would feel violated if it were misused again.

Once again AG, venting emotion comes before understanding.

((AG)) I'm so sorry for your pain.

Thank you all for the support and hugs, it truly helps to know I a not alone with this.

quote:

This talk of your gift trinket box for T surely represents some form of acceptance of your own femininity AG? And It would certainly be a trigger if no one recognized, and respected it as such.

(((Muff))) You have NO idea how much this question helped me. I think it is part of something my T was trying to get me to connect but I couldn't. It kicked off a cascade of connections I am still processing. Just incredibly insightful, thank you. I also appreciated the reminder that feelings come before understanding. What a stupid system, what WAS God thinking?

Sorry for being so cryptic, once I gain more insight, I'll write more. Its not really happening consciously but I can feel my brain working furiously, something will surface eventuually.

AG

AG: My heart goes out to you. I think I would be just as upset as you...except you have the courage to say so. I just walk away.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It doesn't seem fair AT ALL.

Hugs,
T.

((((AG))))

(((AG))) Glad you are still in process. Yes, the cognitive lag is a b----! Being stuck in these terrifying feelings from the past is so much less overwhelming when we can understand, label, and communicate them more fully.

I know this is so hard, especially with a break on top of everything. Sending lots of warm thoughts and hugs your way.

I cheated AG. It was in paragraph 6 chapter 4 of muffs therapy. lol

AG there is a lot here to work through and process and don't try to force it. It will come. It always does. Allow your mind to look at things at it's own pace. I'm glad you are not allowing your initial feelings to push you into making any drastic decisions or judgments about future therapy.

There is so much loving and positive history between you and BN and you have been able to overcome so much. I am sure you both will be able to reconnect and get through this rough patch while you move ahead to process the past traumas.

I have every faith in both of you.

Much love
TN

((((AG))))

Thinking of you AG. I think I would be in the same torment if this happened in my therapy.

Many Hugs.

((TAS)) It took me a long time to learn to speak and not walk away, be gentle with yourself.

(((R2G))

quote:

Yes, the cognitive lag is a b----!

So very true. I started to write it all out, but it started to bring up too much chaos and pain so I eased off. I really do not have much trouble with breaks these days, but must admit this one was particularly ill-timed. So I am needing to triage a bit as I do hate to bug my T when he's on vacation.

((Muff)) That's not cheating, its efficiency!! Appreciate you sharing your insights, especially since they were gained the hard way.

(((TN))) Thanks for lending me your hope and reminding me. It doesn't seem like it should be hard to hang on to, considering so much good history, but man, those primitive young feelings can be overwhelming. Before we reconnect, can I kick him in the shin just once?

((DBS)) Thanks for understanding, I know you get how painful this can be.

still processing...

AG

Hi Hollow!

So glad to see you came over and hope you get the support you need! And thank you for supporting me.

AG