STRM... I heard you and felt the breeze too LOL. No matter what happens, how I feel or act he always comes through for me. That consistency is such a huge difference.
Hi Liese... yeah he is amazing and I realize that. And I sometimes feel like I'm not getting anywhere even though I'm hammering away because oldT comes around and throws a hugh wrench into things. Hey maybe I should use the hammer on HIM!
Beebs...thanks for saying I'm inspiring. I too know that the ruptures will happen but my T is really showing me he is very willing to repair and apologize and do his best to understand my feelings. It's all about ME not him like it was with oldT. I'm in good, caring hands now.
Draggers it's always good to hear from you. Thank YOU for being part of my journey.
Sadly, thank you for caring about me and for the bunny dancing too. It's so hard to relax into the safety when you have those bad experiences playing the tapes in your head.
Monte, not sure I feel like a dream client but my T always tells me that Ts love clients like me because I am open and I am psychologically minded. I don't care about the other Ts just him! I think you have a great T too and I see you becoming more and more like the dream client too. You are making such huge strides lately.
Hi LG... haven't see you around for awhile. I hope everything is okay. You are right, my T was letting me know I had a home that was safe. And he did listen to me very nicely when I confronted him about the comments. He was just wonderful.
I just wanted to add a PS here. Although I left the session on Thursday feeling heard and feeling that we had a good session... by late that night I was feeling scared again. Feeling like my anger towards my T was a bad thing and I was out of line and he was now angry with ME and I was on thin ice with him. The fear was bad enough to send an email for connection. Of course I didn't say what I should have and asked for reassurance and so I got a really short and unsatisfying response which freaked me out even more. So.....with the encouragement of a good friend I sent another email, this time I was VERY specific in what I was worried about and needed from him. A few hours later I got a lovely, comforting response from him telling me that because my anger was expressed so appropriately it only strengthened our relationship and the trust he has in me! He told me to be proud of myself for how I handled everything.
I learned in a very real way that it makes things a lot simpler if I just work up the courage and ask for what I need!
TN