Dreamed I was telling someone about my fears that Ken (my mom's boyfriend when I was 4-5) had done something I can't quite remember as a kid, which have discussed here in other threads. Then, IN my dream, I had a flashback to Ken threatening me about hurting me if I told anyone and how no one would believe me anyway, because I was just a little liar. I woke up feeling like I am a liar, manipulator and like I have invented all the abuse I endured in the past, like maybe it's just all in my head. The "best" dream I have had in the last few weeks was a stress nightmare...confronting a real life person in a stressful situation, but not a "real threat." All my other dreams have been either flashback-type stuff to assaults, nightmares about being abused (physically, verbally/emotionally, SA, etc.) by people I know in real life or random dream people, being about to die or very ill, being hunted, etc.

How do I get it to stop? It's bad enough that I am literally not safe in my bed at night, but I am figuratively not safe, even when H and his condition aren't a problem (like a daytime naps). I need a break!!! Prayer and a good night-time routine isn't seeming to help. I often have vivid dreams and nightmares have been common for my whole life, but I rarely go so long (at least a month, I think) having ONLY nightmares. Also, usually even when I have nightmares, I am actually able to make something positive out of them (like solve a really hard problem or protect others from the "monsters"). Ugh.