((((Iris))))

I can relate so well to what you've said. Like you; I 'thought' I knew what I want from life; but the more I think about it, the less certain I am that I do know.

T asked me once 'what's the one thing you would do if you KNEW you couldn't fail?' and I had no idea how to answer her.

She blogged on the subject of 'loving your life' a while back and suggested doing the following:-

*EDITED*

"Making a list of how you want life to be.

Using visualisation boards – a board full of images of the kind of life you’d like.

write down specific steps to move towards that kind of life. Think big and eliminate fear.

Be imaginative…"


We talked about this as I have no idea where to start. It sounds simple; but to me, and you no doubt, it's sounds impossible.

Sorry you're struggling with this situation as well. Maybe others can point both of us in the right direction.

AV.

That is actually one of the reasons I went into therapy to begin with. If because of your background, you have been cut off from some of your feelings or knowledge about yourself, or if you're used to thinking it doesn't matter, it can make it very hard to make decisions for yourself. I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Iris, I completely understand as I suffer in the same way.

Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone in struggling with this.

(((AV))) Thank you for sharing some ideas - the thought of visualising what I think I want is difficult. There is something painful about seeing what I want - or maybe it is more about it being painful to connect with the feelings of longing and wanting...
I'm sorry you struggle with this too - if I arrive at any insights, I'll let you know!

Thanks, BLT - I think I've realised that it is one of my reasons for being in therapy too - its just taken me a few years to realise that... I have come a long way in being able to ask for what I need "in the moment" from my T, during sessions but transferring these skills into the real world and deciding what it is I want for my future, that's really tough. Strangely, I sometimes feel very clear about things when I'm with my T, but then somehow lose that clarity when I'm on my own or in a less safe environment.

Rebuding Me, I'm sorry you struggle with this too...

Perhaps I'm just trying to rush myself... Unfortunately some opportunities in life are time limited and I really need to make a decision in the next month or so. I am bein plagued with the unhelpful "you are not worthy" and "you shouldn't even be here" thoughts which I KNOW are just old patterns of thinking but in the midst of confusion and angst, all sorts of unhelpful things crop up to join the party.

Thank you for reading and sharing.

Iris x