i travel about 30 minutes each way, but that is because I get held up in city traffic. I think that is long enough!

His closer office is just 5 minjutes away now, maybe 10 if there is traffic. His further office (which I do at least one session a week at) is 40 minutes away, and as much as1.25 hours in the worst traffic. That's each direction. It IS a lot, but for one thing, my sessions are always at least double (except a few times I volunteered to go home early when he was sick or worn out), so it has rarely worked out that my travel is more than the session time. For another thing, that driving is some of my only "me" time, because when I am at home, I'm taking care of Boo, and if she's not there, I am stressing about chores and errands I have to do. If I am driving, I literally can't do anything else, so I just listen to music, sing, sit with my thoughts, etc.

At the moment I see T in the hospital clinic 5 minutes walk from home. When she goes on maternity leave I will start to go to her private practice 20 mins drive. It will be a change, but not too bad.

Thank you for your replies.

At the moment my drive is 30 minutes so it would be quite a change. The more I think about it the more I don't know what to do, I don't want to leave my T but I also don't want to commit to such a long drive to get there.

The drive to my T's office is normally 15-20 minutes, but it can be up to half an hour depending on the time of day and the traffic.

I think if she were an hour away I would still do it. Provided I could work it out practically (i.e. have an appointment when H was able and willing to watch the kids) I don't think I'd mind the drive itself. Like anon said, a long quiet drive can be valuable "me" time. It would depend a little on the drive itself, though, whether it were mostly rural driving or mostly city. I hate driving in the city for long-- the noises, traffic, lights. It's all overstimulating and sets my nerves on edge-- an hour of that each way might effectively cancel out any benefits of therapy, lol. But a nice long meandering drive through the countryside-- yeah, I would do that, to see my T.

P.S. Could you maybe go less often? Or work in a phone session here and there (if your T does that)?

hi daisy, its a really tough call isn't it?

it takes me an hour to get to my T after work (public transport) and then it takes 1 to 1 and a half hours to get home (2 trains) depending how long i have to wait for the trains. it sounds crazy doesn't it? but then again, it takes me one hour each way to get to work every day so in a way i am used to it.

when i first started seeing her i was living closer (but that was a temporary situation where i was staying with relatives). i also wasn't in a good place emotionally and even after i moved to my own flat and got a job etc, i just couldn't stop seeing her, she was the only stable thing in my life... fast forward almost 2 years later and i am still seeing her..... but the long journey really gets to me sometimes. i am doing better financially now so i am thinking maybe soon i can move to a more convenient location.

sorry it became a long story.

maybe you can try it and see how you feel about it. the way i coped with it was that i told myself its a temporary situation (an extended temporary situation lol), but for you it sounds like this would be a permanent change? i think at the end of the day, if he is really worth it, maybe the long journey will feel ok for you. i hope it works out in the end.

puppet

I drive 30 minutes each way to see T.

To put this in perspective a bit-

The last T I saw was also a 30 minute drive. I hated the drive. I dreaded it. I loved snowy days cause then I'd use the drive in the weather as an excuse to cancel. Which happened at least once a month. I saw that T on and off for almost 2 years.

This new T, the office is still a 30 minute drive, but I don't mind it at all. I go 2-3 times a week, and have driven through sleet, storms, snow- nothing can keep me from my appointments.

If this T is really the best one for you, then I don't know that the drive will matter once all is said and done!

I think it comes down to what the drive is like. It's mostly motorway so if traffic isn't bad then it could be an easy drive. What I worry about is traffic being unpredictable and then having to leave lots of extra time to make sure I'm not late for a session because with only 50 minutes a week with T I coudn't bear to miss any of that time.

There is so much other uncertainty in my life right now that it really isn't the right time to be adding to it by changing T.

I talked to a friend about this today and her response was that's too far to drive every week why don't you find a T that is closer. How I wish it was that simple to be able to walk away from my T and find a new one. I think people who have not been in therapy can't really understand the dilema, so thank you for your understanding.