I know, I know, ya'll think I'm paranoid.

DF,

I had never really worried about it before. My T is super busy and it just doesn't seem like something he would do. But it was right around the time I went on the 4 consults. So, if he had any sense that I was thinking about leaving, etc., well I guess it's something I would do if I was insecure. Ha, ha!!! One of the things he said was verbatim what I said on here. Although like I said, I had also said something similar though not exact to him as well. So, I was feeling a little paranoid.

t1 would never find this website. She is computer illiterate.

T2 would be more likely to find it than T1, but I cannot imagine T2 would need to be Googling things like transference. and even if she did stumble upon this forum, I cannot imagine her reading through enough posts to figure out who I am.

That's exactly what I was thinking, LG. It would be pretty hard to find. Like I said, I never really worried about it before but you know sometimes someone says something that really triggers something.

I told my T about this side. Pfhhh... YES I KNOW I´M STUPID!!! Arg... Now I wish I never did that.

I´ve been feeling really miserable for some time now, and have nowhere to turn to, I´m all alone and I could not even write here. Both because the content of my thoughts might get me banned from the side, and also because I know my T reads some posts here.

She asked me the other day if I wrote here that my T insists that I see a psychiatrist. I said "no I dont think I did that" (can´t remember if I did I´m so confused these days) Then she said "then it has been somebody else, and you see it´s quite normal for T´s to insist that their patients see another doctor when they are worried about their wellbeeing"

So you see, now she can read anything in here and think that maybe it´s my thoughts.

Frosty,

I never intended to tell T about this website. It just came up in conversation so now I just reference it when I have to. I never told him the name of it. I call it "the blog." It's my personal opinion that I don't have to tell my T anything I don't want to. Maybe others disagree but I don't think they own us and I think it's our choice to tell them what we want help with or not.

Anyway, I didn't find this website googling transference so the first time, it took me a while to find it. But I just went and googled transference and it was the third one on the list that popped up. Unfortunately, my screen name is very similar to my real name so I am thinking that if he was so motivated, he could find me with relative ease. But, I am just going to have to go on the theory that he has more of a life than I do and doesn't have the time to try to find this site.

So, in addition to the verbatim thing he said, I told him a story that I had told on here. Right as I started the story, he smiled, almost like a smile of recognition. So I got a little suspicious. I know ya'll think I'm paranoid but trust me on this one that I never gave it a second thought that he would look for this website until those 2 incidents. And, it was right after I went on all those consults so if ever there was a time when he would be so motivated, that would be it.

Anyway, if he is reading here, I might as well give him a big warning to STAY AWAY. This is my space. I'd be really pissed if you are reading here!!! AHHH, now I feel better.

quote:

Originally posted by permafrost:


Do you think it's important that we tell our Ts that we are on here, posting? Not necessarily name the place but to let them know we are actively communicating about therapy?
Maybe I should, I do spend a lot of time here

HElllllllll to the No! I am not telling either one of them about this place. T1 wouldn't give two shits about it and T2 would probably just be pissed that I hadn't told her about it sooner, but even then, I don't think she would actually care enough to come looking at what I've written. She'd just be annoyed I'd kept it a secret. I think she feels entitled to know EVERYTHING, but I don't agree with that. The things I tell her are strictly on a need to know basis. My posting here is not something she needs to know about.

I think I would feel bad if T1 read this board as I have occasionally questioned her skills as a therapist in a few threads. I would never want to hurt her feelings.

I cannot really think of anything that I've said about T2 that would hurt her feelings. I did talk about how short she is, like oompa loompa short, but there is no way she can not already be aware of how short she is. She is so tiny I could probably fit her in one of my big purses and take her home with me if I tried. Anyway, I don't think that would hurt her feelings. OH, i just had an idea...she should dress up as a leprechan for Saint Paddy's day this week. That would be so cute!

Oh, I did also mention how uncomfortable her sofa is, but I cannot imagine that would hurt her feelings. Maybe she'd actually buy another sofa if she read that. and that would be a very good thing.

LG,

You will definitely know that T2 reads here if she dresses up as a leprechaun for St. Paddy's day. Maybe we should start a thread and ask for the things we'd like, like a new sofa and see if things start appearing in their office. Naw, it would never work, only for Draggers.

I actually found this site by googling "hugs and therapy" and "touch and therapy" and was directed to some of the forum posts. I'm glad I found this place, that's for sure!

I actually wouldn't mind if my T found this place, though I don't know if I'd outright tell her about it. If she asked, I would definitely share it, but as I don't really refer to this place in conversation, I don't know that she'd ask. I think, for me at least, it would be nice to have her read my posts, as it would be a way for her to "read my mind"

I have told T (in journal entries) that I go to a forum and it is helping me feel related to and understand some stuff. He hasn't asked anything about it. I think I am so open with him that he would feel no need to monitor me elsewhere. Also, the guy is so busy, I don't know that he would have the time. I was joking about how he had already read my emails before my phone session and how busy he always was and he said (obviously joking, in an endearing way I couldn't take offense at), "Yeah, well I have no life!"

Wow...neat thread, Liese. I've often wondered...so many coincidnetal things have happened, things I could have sworn I never told T but had said on here, that he commented on and stuff like that. The biggest one, was, after I started to see my SD, I posted about that, and then T made some comments about my SD that were spot on, that I had put here- and I hadn't even said anything to him about it. So- here is my take. it's possible that T's read here. Not impossible. And it wouldn't be an ethical violation, because they would have no way of knowing if it's "really" us even if they knew darn well it was us. If my T was reading here, and figured out it was me- which I doubt very sincerely in spite of several remarkable coincidences- then I would assume he would just be using this place to gain insight into client mentality. He's have to do an awful lot of reading here to figure out who I am, and I know he doesn't have time for that. So it's just a little fantasy, and probably a pretty harmless one. I think T's actually are pretty good at figuring out what's going on inside us, so when they comment on stuff we've written, it was something that's been coming up in therapy anyway. I notice I have really good sessions when I tell my T stuff that I have talked about on here.

That's my two cents!

ACK, that would be the worst. Finding out they not only read, but were an impostor. Now, this is where one of us steps up and says, "Muahahahaha, that's right...I am your T!" But it won't be me!

Oh my gosh, DF that would be awful!! Clearly it would also be highly unethical to pretend to be someone and then also correspond with someone that you would have to know is your client. Wow, that's the stuff nightmares are made of for sure!

My T has also mentioned one or two things here with shocking similarity, but I think it was just coincidence.

I have a little confession to make. Now you will all think I'm crazier than ever but I used to suspect that Preppie girl, god rest her soul, was my OldT. My Old T came from a preppy family. And PG mentioned once that she lived several hours driving from AG. So that means that PG could have potentially lived close to me as well, because I live several hours driving from AG. So, I used to avoid chatting with PG JUST IN CASE.

DF, so sorry all those thoughts interfered with your session today. See what one paranoid thought does to another? I think BB is probably right, that they really know us very well and so many things we say are not a huge surprise.

My T is really busy so I don't think he would have the time but then again you never know. Now that I gave my warning though for him to stay away if he is reading here, I do feel better.

Not only do I think neither Ts know about this website, I do not think either of them would ever visit it even if I told them. T1 is so not into computers and T2 seems to be the type of therapist who stops thinking about their client the second they walk out the door. Doesn't seem to me that she would ever pop in here unless we logged in together during my $135 45 minute session.

Geez, LG, $135.00 a session?? that's killer!!! How did it go today with the little green lady???

DF, too funny!!! Fantasies and projections are way cooler than real life!!

haha, I've had that thought too, DF.

quote:

"Muahahahaha, that's right...I am your T!" But it won't be me! Wink

Yaku, too funny.

quote:

Originally posted by Liese:
Geez, LG, $135.00 a session?? that's killer!!! How did it go today with the little green lady???

Yeah, she's almost twice as much as T1.

She didn't dress as a leprechaun today but I'm keeping my fingers crossed she'll dress up for St. Paddy's day on Thursday.

I was crabby with her today. I don't think she likes that side of me.

LG - Ugh. H and I pay $125 a session (discounted from his usual $150 rate), but he usually goes the whole hour. It ends up as $375 every two weeks, though, and now that I offered to try to give him something for these phone sessions he has been giving me, it will be even more. I can't imagine paying $135 for only 45 minutes.