I think for many issues therapy is a bit shorter term. Or spans of time from one point or another. Either because of the issues, or because of the person getting as far as they'd like, or just feeling better.

Some people stay in longer because of the issues they are dealing with, ability to integrate, desire, because it helps them cope on a full time basis, or they just want to and it helps for some other reason.

My T said many people worry about being terminated 'too early' and sometimes people actually will not improve as a way to keep the relationship. My T says she knows when this occurs, and brings it up and they work together to find out what is up.

I asked my T continuously when things would be done. She'd never say a timeframe… or sometimes she'd be like 'maybe a year!' but I later found out she was just throwing something out there to me. LOL because after a year I'd have all this shame and we'd talk about it again.

I think ending is a decision on the client and T's side. If a T doesn't find they are giving benefit (which I doubt many do, but I'm not sure) someone who wants to be in therapy can find someone else who CAN work with what they'd like to continue to work on.

I'm so sorry you are frightened it sounds like just an awful place to be. I've been in a similar place.

There is no 'supposed to' - there are statistics, like anything that can be measured… but all therapy is individual.

I was just talking to my T the other day, on our 4 year therapyversary… and we talked about how far I've come, that I can make it on my own (or at least better) but that it's so wonderful I want to keep working. She also mentioned that she believes I've been through so much trauma that we're I'm at is beyond expectation. With the number of sessions I've had, I've probably received the weekly equivalent of 15-20 years of therapy. I've asked T about her long term clients also… she's had some for 10 years… though they may not come all the time. She'll certainly be gone and retired by then for me.

Anyhow… sorry to ramble so much. I hope you can bring this up with your T. It is honestly individual and shouldn't be mandated to end at a certain time IMHO.

I think there is an element of 'how long is a piece of string?' with therapy.

Some therapy is time limited from the outset and both client and T are aware of the constraint right from the beginning... Other therapy less so. I think the whole 6 months to 2 years thing is very general. More an average. Personally I have seen people achieve what they want in as little as a few weeks and I have known other people, myself included, take an extended period of a few years.

I have been seeing current T for 18 months. Occasionally I do worry that she thinks I should be done by now or that when I qualify I 'shouldn't' need therapy any more. I kind of adhere to the 'it is done when it's done' school of thought. That is, therapy ending should be a mutual decision between client and T. With the work I am doing I cannot predict a timescale and I often don't know what external conditions are going to make progress more easy or problematic either.

A lot of Ts these days work in a collaborative way with their clients and wouldn't hold their clients to an artificial timescale. People enter therapy at different stages in their lives so applying a rule doesn't make a lot of sense. Because Gestalt is a humanistic therapy, I get the sense that ending therapy would need to be a collaborative decision and not one that would be imposed on a client after a set period of time. That is what my gut is saying.

I know it is very difficult but this subject is probably one to bring out in the open if you can stand to have the conversation. I am sorry abandonment stuff is out for you at the moment. I understand how crippling it can feel.

Long Term Client on Robin Shapiro's Trauma & Attachment Blog

Hi About,
I think the time spent in therapy is dependent on a lot of factors, including the severity of what a client is dealing with. Only about 2-3% of the general population presents with disorganized attachment while I would say the majority of people here have either disorganized attachment and/or long term severe neglect or abuse. Because the injuries occurred at a young age and over a long period of time (and our formative years at that) it can take much longer to heal. The link above provides a really good overview. Robin Shapiro is a very experienced trauma therapist (she has written and edited several text books for trauma therapists) and has what I would consider a very reasonable take based on her experience.

I have been in therapy, on and off, more on than off, for about 28 years with two different therapists. The truth is that for a very long time my life worked better with the support provided by therapy. So some of it has been healing and some of it has been coping. I continue to go because there are still issues I need help with and at this point, I just find it really useful. It was also more common when I started going to therapy for it to be long term (years if not decades). Recent developments in CBT, medications and insurance companies wanting to limit payout's haas led to this demand that therapy be more short term.

Add into all this that people with long term trauma and neglect actually have trouble accepting that their legitimate needs should be attended to, and a lot of longer term clients spend all their time in therapy wondering if they've been there too long. I've spent 28 years worried I was outstaying my welcome. My present therapist actually teases me about it.

Oh and everything Catalyst and Mallard said.

AG

About, I am closer to AG in terms of length in therapy. Mine has been off and on also. I returned a couple of years ago after a 10 year break. Luckily, my same T was still practicing which helped not having to take time getting to know each other. A bunch of life issues came crashing down around me and I was not coping well at all. We have also discovered some unfinished business from the first go round. It is going super slow this time because I can't afford to go as often as I'd like currently.

As my T told me years ago, you will be done when you are done. I don't think your T is going to terminate you because of a time frame. That would actually be quite reckless, in my mind. It is something to talk to your T about, as others have said. I hope that will ease your mind.

I feel the way a lot of people feel on this post. My first T, I was with for 5 years before he became terminally ill. My second T, I was with for approximately 20 years before he retired because of suffering a stroke. I've been with my current therapist for 4 years. Not once did any of them bring up the subject of termination because that "time is up." Like was said above, a lot of times it is dealing with the trauma and other times it is just trying to cope from day to day. Something like that can't be done in 50 minutes a week for a short period of time. Establishing the client/T relationship, itself, takes a long time to develop. So, I know you are worried, but I think it will put your mind to rest of you do talk to your T about it. Believe me, I think you'll feel much better afterward. Hope this helps a little bit...

For what it's worth,
LJB