Janedoe,

First off, I am really glad that you are ok. It sounds like a very terrifying experience!

What you are describing in terms of having difficulty with hearing or taking in these things that your T is saying is what my T has told me is called a nourishment barrier. Because of trauma in our lives and being hurt so badly in the past, we stop taking in the good stuff too in an effort not to get hurt again. I think what your T said is perfectly ok and I think your reaction to it is ok. It sounds like now that you are reflecting back on it that you are taking it in now even though at the time you felt that you couldn't take that in. It sounds like to me that you are gradually starting to take in her kindness which is good. If you tried to take it all in at one time or suddenly just let everything in, you might likely get overwhelmed.

I think it sounds like you are doing some great work and have every reason to be very proud of yourself and the progress you are making.

right now my response to this topic is 'who the f. cares' which tells me i protest too much... jill

Thanks!

So sorry it's taken me awhile to respond, my browser kept crashing on just this page.

STRM, Blanket Girl - thanks for the confirmation and feedback.

Jill - thanks for the proverbial kick in the pants. seriously!

I think I am so sensitive and leary about t's and so scared I'm going to get wrapped up in another really damaging t relationship that I've lost any confidence in my judgement about t's - the the degree that even small things I am uneasy about.

In the end, you are right in one way - it is a small thing.... And that just points out to me that I am so jumpy so scared this will end up being another t relationship that trashed my heart. But ya know, it's worth the risk. There keep being good signs... maybe I can keep still watching for the "red flags" that I'm apparently looking for every closely, too closely, and let go a little more.

argh. I have a long ways to go...

Woah there - hmm - this seems worth saying - JD I *think* Jill was responding in her post *just* to the subject line, applying the question to her own situation, and probably didn't mean 'who the f cares' with regard to your post or experience. Jill, am I right? I hope so.

JD, I just don't want you to take a kick in the pants where none is needed or intended - and certainly none was needed at all! It's not a small thing, and you are of course allowed to think, reflect, be cautious, etc.

xxJones

good point Jones!

although, sometimes, I still do need a good kick in the pants...