Hrm, honestly, probably twice a week, 60 minutes each time. I think I could keep the texts to only emergencies if I knew I only had to go 3-4 days without seeing him, especially with other regularly scheduled contact with supportive people (church, etc.).

T1?every day, all day.

T2? Two full afternoons a week.

I guess my last post was really my minimum. It takes me about half the session to start talking, so I mean 60 minutes AFTER I start talking.

Once a week for an hour and half would be heaven.

wait- did you mean if contact was unlimited? Oh, in that case I would like him to be divine. Always "contactable."

Yes- I kinda agree with Monte- she has it just about right. I too am not fond of phone calls, but I love txting back and forth. E mails would be cool, however I've never done that with T. Txting is common between sessions. It forces him to say lots in few words. sometimes they are so rich and so right on, that I save them for future similar moments when I think I need him.

I told him this- he just smiles.

Hele

Yeah, I think the contact between sessions is inversely proportional to the amount of time and number of times I get to see him each week. Like, just my one appointment a week would be fine if he always replied to my texts/emails in between and I was able to feel "OK" and not burdensome by that. As it is, T replies if he feels like I need him to, but if I am just touching base to let him know where I'm at (emotionally), he doesn't. But, if he always replied, I would probably feel less neglected and need him less. That would be nice. I do wish I could drop in. Obviously impossible, but how cool would it be to be able to say, "Hey, I was at the store next door and thought, I miss T, I'd like to go see how he's doing?"

I'm seeing my new T twice a week for about 55 minutes. This seems to work well and I can easily make it 3 or 4 days in between. I'm so busy on weekends they go faster. I also have access to emailing him whenever I need to and that has been about every other week. If I mail at night he answers in the morning. I can also beep him or call his cell if I urgently need him. I don't have to reach crisis, but just that it's more urgent than an email. He does not text... only for the reason that he hates typing on his iphone. So 2 hours a week is good for me.

TN

45minutes every week. That's it.

Ideally? Twice a week would be heaven already. As True North says, weekends go faster, so I wouldn't mind a three day gap there.

As it is, I find myself jumping to conclusions early on in the week, because there is simply too much time to think about things without getting feedback from T. E-mail would be great, too. Maybe just one every other day to make sure I'm nog getting stuck in the inevitable loopholes.

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want to just say a quick welcome to mayflower and yaku.we are yet to meet hi!

hello :-)

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It is very interesting in that actually we are not asking for the moon, just reasonable access. but I agree with the post about 'dropping by like he was a retired parent happy to have you hang out there for a bit" boy, that would be COOL!
I would not say no to that. Well, would ANY of us! LOL
I think what it is showing, is that whether we want to move in with them ( I have wanted that in the past, when I was younger and it was entirely appropriate, must tell you one day what happened when I DID do that ! )or see them once or twice or three times a week, the fact is that we have a sense of what works for us and we are usually spot on. Absolutely spot on.
I went to this P and told him that I need 90 minute sessions once a week with a phone call in between. He told me he assessed my as needing one 50 minute session twice month with no interim contact. As therapy progressed he saw that I was right. DUh.
2 hours are too long for me, more than one session a week interferes with my LIFE, and big gaps have me going backwards. I know this. Surprise! I know what I need !! Each of us seem to know what we need here, and I think the post about moving in with the T is absolutely accurate, there are times when that is the need and that is not needy either, it is just what is needED. At that time.
This thread is so helpful, thank you for posting honestly and I hope more people post and tell us their answers and thoughts on this.

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want to just say a quick welcome to mayflower and yaku.we are yet to meet Big Grin hi!

Nice to meet you!

I have also thought a lot about the „moving in with T“ thing. And I have found out that my inner child would love that. Maybe my T could be at home all day just thinking about her baby me, I even fantasized further and thought it would be great being inside her womb... he, he I really thougt that!!! But being my size hmmm... that wouldn´t quite work

In real life she has been reducing our appointments, from once a week, to once every other week. Baby me is struggling with that. Two hours a month surely is not enough for me, and I also feel rejected.

I think once a week would be best, and sometimes I wish we had 90 minutes, instead of 60. Coming to think of it she has never said the appointments should be 60 minutes.


E-mail writing in between weekly sessions might also work for me.

I am only seeing T about once a month right now and considering taking a break as long as I can txt every now and then. This is my choice and he seems ok with it. I do feel maybe we should discuss it though. I don't know what I want right now, but I am ok - and very busy.

In my fantasy world (where it's 78 degrees and sunny 5 days a week, 85 degrees and sunny 2 days a week, and it rains every night between 2am - 4am) I'd end every evening with a 45 minute session with my T. And she'd come to my house for the sessions, so I could go directly to bed when she leaves and process in my sleep.

In a more grounded sense of what I'd like, ideally, I'd like 3 sessions a week for 75 minutes each. I currently have 2 sessions (M/Th) for 45 minutes a week, and it is ok. My weekends are when I'm less busy and more prone to isolation and anxiety, so would love an extra session on Saturday, but that won't be happening.

Room 2 grow- I like your fantasy version. (Except my T is a guy- so it might be weird)