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How successful has your therapy been in helping you address the issues that originally brought you to the point of beginning therapy?

I had a little list of symptoms, problems, and complaints about life that I hoped to resolve in therapy. I would say, about 75% of all that original list has been resolved, and the other 25% drastically reduced in intensity and frequency at least. However, in therapy I've 'discovered' more issues since then (mostly attachment related stuff and avoidance of emotional intimacy) which I've now added to the list.

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Has it taken longer than you thought or do you feel that you are right on track?

I never thought I would be in therapy this long, but I'm pleased with my progress although it's taken time. I guess I'm on track.

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What about those of you who feel stuck? How are you handling that and what other resources are you using to help yourself get unstuck (if that is possible)?

I have another therapist that I go to see very occasionally. Three times total I think. She specializes in targeting specific issues and often works as a supplement for people who have a different primary therapist. She does somatic work, relaxation exercises and techniques, hypnotherapy, and also offers standard CBT. Sometimes going to talk with her has been helpful when I've felt stuck with my own T.

Another things I've done when I've felt stuck is to skip out of therapy for awhile, a few weeks or so. Sometimes we go so deeply into things that it makes my symptoms flare up and my anxiety get worse (this has also happened in response to mistakes on Ts part). Usually when I take a break I come back refreshed and ready to get back into things.

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What kind of approach or modality does your therapist use? Do you feel that it is helpful or something that gets in the way?

She does Rogerian based, "relationship therapy" but takes an eclectic approach in that she'll mix in other techniques and modalities as tools as needed. She's very non-directive and empathic. (She's also really, really smart and intuitive.) This works well for me as I hate feeling bossed around and am susceptible to feeling controlled. Some people benefit from a more structured and directive approach, though, I believe. I guess it just depends.

Hope this helps some. Best wishes to you on your healing journey. Remember to be patient with yourself.

Hi TAS,

My therapy has been successful in many areas for the last two years. I have had many issues to deal with that keep coming up, so some of the deeper stuff we haven't gotten to or I feel I haven't been able to work on quite yet.

Last summer I did something that wasn't like myself and my T came down hard on me. I almost didn't go back. Then, I was just feeling ok about that when T and I had another odd thing happen in our relationship. When I went in for sessions it started resembling friendship chit chats and we didn't do much real work. I had a dream that I was literally going round and round in her office building and couldn't find a way out. I felt stuck with her. My guess was she felt the same way because she gave me an assignment that I thought signaled termination.
T actually said something to the effect that she had other clients who needed her more (sounded like...I took it as....why are you here?....we're not doing anything productive)
I had a ton of other hard crap going on in my life, so I was getting very down about the possibility that T and I were ending. With the assignment that T gave me I started bringing up harder stuff to talk about at that next session and we cleared the air about us terminating.
That assignment was to help w/my self confidence T said. It actually helped me to get unstuck. Some more life crap happened and I went to T about that stuff. We didn't get to deeper stuff until toward the last session. I usually see her every 3 to 4 weeks, so it's not very often. My next appointment is two weeks apart though. I think T and I are starting to rebuild our relationship after some rocky parts.
I plan on going into hard stuff next time. I hope I can. I need to be able to sit there and feel and not just intellectualize or avoid things through chit chat.

My guess is that T is more Rogerian, but uses some other methods as well. She is very open about herself and doesn't do CBT with me much. Her expertise is in sexual trauma, eating disorders, working with adolescents and families of substance abuse.

The issues that sent me there originally were that my marriage was falling apart (ex's infidelity and abuse) and I was confused, depressed and trying to figure out how to repair my marriage. T tried to help w/couples counseling...didn't work...ex lied to her and me...he said one thing and did another. To make a long story short T has been with me through the end of my marriage, divorce process, beginning of my single life and me getting into T training school!
I also have a history of childhood sexual abuse (1 or 2 incidents) and I'm pretty sure I come from an enmeshed and controlling family. I have a lot to deal with besides day to day crap that creeps up. For the most part I love my T and I'm grateful for her. There have been times when I didn't want to go back or felt that she was bored with me or thinks I'm difficult.

I hope that helps you in some way, TAS.

Initially I went to therapy because all of the things I knew in life had fallen apart...and I had been depressed for a long time, and really had hit a point where I knew I wanted out of the big black hole...but also knew I couldn't climb out with the tools I had.

That was a year ago.

When I went, I had no idea what the process would be like, what it was going to take to be a better version of myself, or any clue at all really...

I remember sitting down in my first session with this idea that I was going to sit down and tell this stranger this unedited summary of how my life had fallen apart, she would be shocked and appalled...and then I'd leave.

When she was neither shocked, nor appalled... I remember being really, really confused.

My T believes in the Rogerian approach, and is big on CBT and Gestalt.

She's very client centered and non-directive. Sometimes I find this infuriating

I still can't hear her talk about worthiness without welling up in tears, and expect that finding a sense of self worth will be a greater challenge than the first chapter in the journey she's guiding me on...

But, it's been worth it so far, and I can barely recognize the person I used to be.

I like this new me much better, and can't wait to meet the real me, that is still buried somewhere in the rubble inside. But, I know she'll be there to help point out the big rocks, and guide me to figuring out the best way to move them.

At least, I hold onto the hope that she will be.

these are very good questions TAS! it really helps to review your progress and relationship. i'm on a long break right now so i've been thinking about stuff like this a lot (possibly in a more negative light).

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How successful has your therapy been in helping you address the issues that originally brought you to the point of beginning therapy?

i didnt have a clear list of issues when i started seeing my current T. i guess in short they mostly are about my relationships and the way i feel about myself. when she asked i said that i've always felt broken and i hope she can help fix me. she also told me that my issues are deep seated, which i already knew from my previous therapy. its hard to measure my progress, but i do feel like i have done some things which have surprised me. although deep down i still feel the same. so i guess i need a LOT more time in therapy.

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Has it taken longer than you thought or do you feel that you are right on track?

after already being in therapy for 6 years, i was hoping that this time i would just work hard for 2 years or so and i would be done. fixed. as good as new. ha!ha! its been a year and i am nowhere near that, if that is even possible i dont know! i guess i am kinda slow (and possibly impatient too!) or maybe its just the nature of the work, it will just need a lot of time.

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What about those of you who feel stuck? How are you handling that and what other resources are you using to help yourself get unstuck (if that is possible)?

i do end up getting stuck quite a lot, and i dont know if that is me - or us (the way my T and I interact) or possibly both. a lot of it probably has to do with my past, i guess i always felt stuck / forgotten in a corner / powerless /immobile / just waiting for someone to remember i exist... i think there are also things my T does which don't help or make it worse. i tend to have a lot of negative transference with her, and that makes me more stuck. she is very non-directive and waits for me to talk or make the first move in everything - and maybe i sit there waiting for her...
in terms of other resources - i read a lot of stuff on therapy, here, articles, books, anything i can get my hands on - and that really helps as it puts a different perspective on things. only wish i was able to talk about those things with T, or just talk more and not be so stuck.

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What kind of approach or modality does your therapist use? Do you feel that it is helpful or something that gets in the way?

she's a psychoanalytical psychotherapist - not sure exactly what that means. like i said above, she is very non-directive and very 'blank screen' - which drives me up the wall a lot! at the same time tho, i also feel this 'strength' from her, like she is unfazed by anything! also she does feel a bit 'cold' and impersonal sometimes, but then i also feel therapy is totally about me, never about her. i kinda feel like these positives and negatives go hand in hand, not sure if you can have one without the other? i would be interesting to see other perspectives on this modality.

not sure if that was any use to you TAS, or anyone else, but it has helped me! thanks!

puppet