Wynne,
Humor has been integral to my relationships with both my Ts and I definitely think it has a place in therapy. In general, it gets less risky the longer you've been in the relationship and the better you know each other.

With my present T it actually drove me nuts in the beginning because we DIDN'T joke around. In my experience, humor is a two-edged sword as it can be used to minimalize the stuff being talked about or deflect attention from painful stuff. When my husband and I first started couples sessions there was a tendency to do that, so my T tended to hold back or not laugh I think as a way to get us to look at what we needed to.

But the other side of humor is that it can be a great coping mechanism. Sometimes being able to laugh can really put things into perspective. My favorite feeling in the world is when you're laughing so hard you can't stop? Its the best.

But as we started digging into our issues and as I've gotten to know him better, humor is more and more common. He has a very playful, gentle sense of humor and I love when we laugh together.

A few sessions ago we were talking about the fact that healing is not about cognitive understanding but about emotional experience. My T said we could just sit and stare at each other and say "I know" "I know that you know" "I know that you know I know" A few minutes later when we were talking about another subject, without thinking, I said "I know" and we both looked at each other and totally lost it. I think humor can provide really deep bonding moments.

And I LOVED to really crack up my first T. Everyone once in a while I could get her to lose it so badly that you would see the person as well as the therapist. Of course, I love to make people laugh in general, so its not that suprising that I feel that way about my therapists.

AG

I have only been in therapy for 6 months but I find humour helps. I often make an off the wall comment and we laugh. It helps to open the trust factor for me. I know my T tried to crack a joke, and I didn't get it. She had to explain it was a joke...now that was funny

To me it just makes the patient/client atmosphere a little less.

Katskill

Dear Katskill, please tell me about your name.

Samy

Samy

Not much to tell....just made it up quickly.

oH, cuz it sounds like 'cats' 'kill' that's all
samy

Hi Samy,

It is probably something more innocent than what it sounds like to you. There are even "Catskill Mountains" in New York that are pronounced cat skill. Maybe that will sound better to think of it that way. I remember you posting about cats before and I'm sure it has nothing negative to do with the animal. I just wanted to give you a little more reassurance on that in case you needed it.
JM

And Samy, if it helps think of it as CAT SKILL as in someone who is really excellent at taking care of cats. A much better meaning. A change of perspective can often make a big difference for me.

Ok, you guys is so nice to me! I'll try think it that way.

samy
p.s. notice how I were so polite and calm? go me!

You were fabulously polite and calm Samy-hurray for you!!!

Samy,
You are just incredibly awesome, I love your heart. And you're right, you were very polite and calm (I may need to start taking lessons from you! )

AG

HAHA! last night me T phoned and i said 'good you called cuz then i don't gotta be angry none!' HAHA! guess i still gots a temper but i workin on it right?

samy

p.s. school still is booooring!

Sorry Samy Didn't mean for the name to offend anyone. I love cats, I have 3 of them. It was just my quirky mind at work. I will add an s to the end so it won't sound so harsh.

Kat

ok, thanks for doing that!


samy