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2 replies

Hurting..

A annaMember
Hi.
I have been on here but not writing anything, I am just deeply hurt in this moment...

I have a ok therapeutic relationship or I think so most of the time with my T, it has been up and down and sometimes I feel like I am alone in this work, I have some attachment problem I do admit that, we meet 1 a week and I send usually 1 e-mail between sessions, and the T usually responds if he can, we did a deal if I felt bad I could mail him or call as last resort . And new I did finally ask him if and when I feel proud and happy like got a high on exam or did or to the gym 3 days in a row if I could mail him he said yeas and that is new, But I am careful not to over use his kindness, I try not to send more that 1 mail between sessions and he has said its ok, but I have to know he can not always reply.

Ok that fine he usually just says good weekend or have a nice day something short and I am happy with that. So last week I did call him the next day after he session to say sorry how I was, I did have a little meltdown, and he was ok in the phone, so like many times before I sent him mail just before he weekend to say have a nice weekend, he did not reply, that was ok, so I meet him and like always if he does not reply to my mail he act like he did not see my mail,.

So I did well in my test on the next day after my sessions this week and I did send him mail that night, just to let him know I did well and if he could cross his fingers for my next exam in few days time, I did really expect that he would reply to say great or good luck on the next exam, but nothing I was little bit hurt.. But ok ,, I am really anxious about my next exam and did send him mail this morning and told him I was stressed and if he could give me some words of wisdom ,

Usually if he replies he does it straight away but now its night and he has not replied .. I am sometimes so tired of not being able to trust this therapeutic relationship , I do admit now its hard times ahead Christmas and all , and I do need the extra support , but he sometimes says something and totally forgets it .

Am I making to much a hassle . I just thought my T did care and specially in exams time. I am little bit hurt.

Greetings.
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armoredheartarmoredheartMember
(((anna)))

So sorry this has been a rough time for you Frowner I agree that your best bet it seems is to discuss your feelings with T if you feel you can. That's always important stuff to maintaining a good connection and realizing what's important to you. It's essential for him to know how his actions make you feel, and can be eye opening for you in realizing what you need, not just from him but in other relationships too.

Wishing you the best with T and exams!!

A annaMember
Hello.

Thanks for your answers’ I have seen my T, I was hurt and angry but like always I did not say anything, and he acted like he did not see my mail, he does that, if he does not reply he act like he did not read it, but few times he told me he read it but could not reply, I am ok with that. I know T is human like you and me and they make mistakes and forget.
it 10 days from this untill next sessions little bit long but ok, I did ask him if I could e-mail him before my next exam wich is before next session ,

I feel so like a fool but 2 sessions ago I said I felt blessed, I felt like his foster child and I regret saying that... And finally I did not feel so alone and lonely in the world, and I had him to share my joy and sorrow, like if I do well in school or something I can send him line, and he does support me a lot in sessions, but sometimes I feel so frustrated and impatient, I want to fix my self yesterday, and be able to have better quality of life,

I wish so much I was not so afraid to feel and let myself feel happy, content and so on, I am starting to feel these thinks, I have been seeing him for some years and most of the time he has been there for me, But sometimes I am just so much afraid he will give up , my T said I was doing really really well , and he is not going to give up, and he like to work with me and this is good case for him specially because I am doing so well. I am just tired in this moment, I just don’t like December it hard for people who don’t have many around them , it just sometimes hurts to see others happy and not really be bale to do that ,

thank you all here for reading this, I have friend and she does not understand me when I talk about my T and how important he is for me , I feel when I talk to her like I am obsessed with my T , but I am really not, I just want regular sessions and support and when you did not grow up with this , then like me when I finally have as a adult ,I am afraid of loosing this support, does it make sense ..
Thanks

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