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I confronted her AGAIN...............

pixiepixieMember
Okay so in an earlier post I said that my mother was going to be coming over today. That changed. I text her this morning to tell her that
"I know you were wanting to come over today but I'm not feeling good and don't want anyone over"

Which is 100% true ( I'm having the worst case of cramps on the planet ) All I get back is

"FINE".

So we go back and forth:
ME-"So you going to get pissed at me know?"
HER-"No, but you could return my calls"
ME-"your doing the same thing you always do.(not listening) Thats why I didn't call you back."

Then a complete 180;

HER- "There is a gift from (Aunt). Do you want me to open it and tell you what for?"

I didn't reply coz that just pissed me off even more.

Then; HER AGAIN- "Sorry I just miss you guys and I'm board. Love you."

ME- "I know that you miss ____, me not so much. I have told you before that you are obsessed with ____ and you need some help to control that coz its not healthy for you or ____. You need a hobby other than us, or even a job. I know for sure that I'm wasting my breath bcoz again you never listen. You dont care about what makes me
uncomfortable, you only care about your needs and when you get to see ____ again."

HER- " I do want to see you and love you. I can wait for you."

ME-"stop acting like I'm the one with the problem."

HER-" FINE I'M THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. HAVE A NICE LIFE."

After that I was getting to stressed, that I didnt answer back. I was in the middle of taking my son to the doctor through all this. So I need to be able to drive. We just got back about 30 mins ago and I got another text from her.

HER-"Icame back to Michigan because this is where my family was. I didn't come back to take over your family, I just wanted to be close if you needed me and to have you guys back in my life. I will be happy for what ever you give me."


I have not wrote back. I'm too worked up to talk to her anymore today. I wish I could hide under a rock right now. Its never going to get any better. She just going to go back to her old way again. Its the same old story.

Is there ever going to be any peace in my life when it comes to her?
Original Post
ladygreyladygreyMember
Pixie,

It sounds as though you have a longggggggg history of conflict with your mother and yet she wants to try to fix things. I can imagine...no, actually I can relate, that this is difficult to do when so much damage has been done. And now you are being made out to be the bad one because you aren't as eager to mend the fences as she is. I know how emotionally draining that can be.

I am guessing from some of the things you have written that your mother can be very manipulative. I think its best for you to stand strong and firm....do what you need to do in order to protect yourself from further emotional damage and to give yourself space to process things. Take care of yourself first before you take care of her. There should be no guilt or shame in doing that. You need to heal. You need to have some peace...for once. I do hope that you are able to find it.

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