I'm sorry you are going through this!

My inability to eat, last year, and loss of weight, seemed to be tied to my PTSD and depression. There was nothing I could "do" to get myself to eat, but I knew I had to, so I would eat a hard boiled egg for lunch and a thing of yogurt for dinner. Before that I would eat salads, but I guess my depression got so bad that even that too much work. I would cook big meals for my kids or take them out to eat but eat none of it myself. Looking back at it now, I don't understand it. I can see myself staring into the fridge or pantry and just simply not wanting anything to eat. The med I went on in December, for my depression, turned things around for me, it seemed, because my appetite came back in early January.

Thanks Ninn and DF, it helps a little.

I know part of it is the depression, which has actually lifted quite a bit thanks to the meds I'm on

I am on the search for a protein drink that I can have (allergies make it tough!) cause I know that will be a big help, and a great fallback for days when I can't make myself eat.

DF, it's funny you say that about restaurants, I totally used to do that too! I have been trying to eat out a little more in the hopes that I'd be better able to eat if I wasn't preparing it, but no luck their, either

I am seriously a little worried that I'm heading into the wrong direction. I mean, why did I choose this weekend to start exercising? When I'm low on calories and energy? I know exercise can help produce endorphins, which gives you happy energy. With my miserable weekend, I wanted to give it a go. Directly going against my nutritionist's orders. Did I care? Do I care? I don't know. I don't know about any of this anymore.

I wonder if the meds you're on suppress your appetite (further)....?

The first med I took, took my appetite away completely (although it also made my depression worse). When I quit that med on my own and went inpatient to get new help (my P went out of town), my appetite turned around a month later. So much in fact, that my P then gave me Topamax to curb my appetite (it only helped a little) because all my mind was doing was thinking about what I could eat next.

And I would think exercise would help....why did the nutritionist say no?

Hi Ninn,

Yeah, the med does suppress my appetite, but honestly, I lost my appetite about 6 months ago, and I've only been on this med for about 6 weeks. It took a lot of trial and error to find a med that agreed with my system, this is like med number 6 or 7 or something like that, and it really has made a huge difference in my depression and sleep, so that is good.

The nutritionist said no exercise because I'm not eating enough calories to maintain basic body function, let alone keep my body functioning with exercise. I have made an increase in my intake, just not enough to be where she wanted me to be by now. It's really hard to make myself eat right now - the weather is warmer (I'm less hungry in summer) and I'm off my schedule for the summer, which always makes it hard. I'm not doing much exercise, walking, and a few reps of two exercises I got from my physical therapist - good for my back stuff. I just want to try and develop a routine that I can do, and hold on to.

DF - I love the idea of foodie porn! I don't do the food magazines, but whenever my TV is on, it's on FoodNetwork - my favorite! I love Iron Chef America and Chopped and Next Food Network Star - My favorites!

It is work to even chew - I'm loving the easy stuff that doesn't require much effort to eat. I don't think I'm denying myself food, I do eat when I get hungry, I just don't get hungry! I am eating even then, though, if only a power bar. I actually googled good single-serving smoothie makers tonight, and am planning on going to pick one up tomorrow, so that I can at least start getting 1-2 power smoothies in.

I see my nutritionist and my general doc at the end of the week. I'm sure more bloodwork is in order. The med I am taking is a seratonin increaser (?) and I have increased my vitamin D and omegas.

I don't know. Part of me thinks I'm making a bigger deal over this than I need to, and whatever it is just needs to run it's course. Part of me wants to make a big deal out of it. And part of me just wants it all to go away.

So today. Kicking it off with a healthy dose of paralyzing anxiety has completely sucked my appetite out of me. At least I have peanut butter, right?

So what do you do to make yourself eat when you know you don't have any appetite at all? I've been watching food network today, and I cleaned my kitchen and dining room (actually set the dining room table for the first time in - ever!) thinking that spending time in the "eating rooms" would be more enticing. Not so.

Seriously. I quit. I give. I want the all-encompassing-healthily-balanced-nutrition-rich-Jetson's-esque gumball meal.

Hi R2G,

I think you've gotten some really good advice so far. I just wanted to add that sometimes when I absolutely don't want to eat but know I need to I will make something that normally tastes good to me and at least take a bite. Sometimes (but not always) after a bite or two my appetite comes back a little. Looking and thinking about good food doesn't always do it, although sometimes it might.

Anxiety takes away my appetite, too. Sorry you're having so much trouble with this. I'm glad you'll be seeing your general doctor at the end of the week...the fact that this has lasted so long for you seems a little worrying.

Anyway, take care R2G. ((hugs))

Hi all,

Thanks for the tips...

DF - I think that you hit on something- I have been so out of my own body the last few weeks dealing with anxiety and the seasonal transition and such, it is making everything that *was* routine, hard. Part of why I have started exercising (just a little) is because I DO want to set up a healthy routine that includes both healthy eating (not sitting on my couch, either, but dragging myself to the dining room table) and exercising. I hear you on the "just do it" and I think that I'm in the war stage right now, and I hope that I can get out of my own way before it gets too rough

Frosty - it literally took 5 months to find meds that work, and they really work! I don't want to change meds. I also don't want to add meds in that make me eat. I'm rather twisted in the head right now, and hope that this phase passes soon. I appreciate the perspective of looking at this in 10, 20, 30 years... that actually made me pause for a moment and think. I'm going to try to keep that in mind.

Hi Kashley, thanks for the input. I used to be able to spark my appetite by eating a favorite dish or something, and usually after a few bites I'd be hungry enough to finish it. This not wanting to eat anything is new to me, and it's really frustrating!

I had another rude awakening yesterday when a very good friend pointed out to me that going on my hour long walk I burned at least 400 calories, and considering I only ate 900 calories that day, I actually really was not good. I am really, really worried about seeing the nutritionist tomorrow. I know I am not doing well, in fact, I know I'm in a worse place than I was when I saw her a month ago. I just don't quite know how to get myself out of this spot... especially considering my T is out of town still

Things are going from bad to worse, and it's all at my own hands. It's ridiculous how opposite-minded I am right now. I know it's not good, but I don't give a crap. Ever since my GP said I could stand to lose a little... well, then I started on the meds and that's exactly what I did. I set a weight goal for myself (which is still in the VERY healthy range) and I'm determined to get there. I wish everyone would support me in that instead of make me feel like if I don't start eating more then I'm going to be in trouble. Grrrrr....

And it doesn't help that I *tried* to follow directions and made myself a nice, healthy dinner tonight, but when I sat down to eat it was tasteless and gross.

R2G,

Sorry you are having troubles with this. (((R2G)))

In the past when I've had difficulty with my appetite, like in the month after my dad died or the first month of my divorce, I was able to get some calories in through drinks....smoothies, lattes, Coke, milkshakes, etc. For a while, it was all I could get down.

Thanks for the suggestion LG. I find it so much easier to drink my calories rather than eat them, but according to my doctor, that isn't good enough. I had 3 smoothies today - nearly 40 grams of protein between the three, and enough calories, I hope, to balance the 20 minute workout I did before dinner. Sigh.... It's just been one of those days where NOTHING feels right, I'm so glad it's just about over.