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3 replies

I love you

M 50minsMember
I know this is transference. Of course I will have "real" feelings about T too, but growing up in an abusive home my feelings of love were corrupted. I did love my mother also my abuser but because of her abuse toward me I had to hate her so loving her would stop hurting

Now when I feel lOve toward T it sends me into a feeling of rage full panic. I so want to allow myself the luxury of feeling love toward T but I don't know how too. I am so scared too.
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Attachment GirlAttachment GirlAdmin
Hi 50mins,
Human beings are built so they look for safety, not happiness. So a more familiar situation which you know how to handle feels safer than a new situation, even one that is objectively better. This gets even more complicated when we were hurt by the people who were supposed to love us.

You'll get there, it just takes patience. You need to experience loving your T and not getting hurt to get in your gut that it's safe. The more you can do that, the less threatening it will feel. One thing that I have been REALLY grateful to my therapist for is accepting my love for him and being able to tell him, because it was something I needed to learn how to do, let myself love someone.

AG

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