sending hugs to you ((TK)). So sorry you're hurting now.

TK... I remember having a really difficult Thanksgiving the first year after oldT abandoned me. It was my turn in the family to host Thanksgiving dinner and it also snowed that morning (a huge reminder/trigger of oldT). I could barely move out of bed and I had to cook dinner and set up for guests. It was a difficult time but the next year was better. Somehow I managed to numb myself to get through the day and I think I dissociated a lot of it. But the food was good and people didn't seem to notice much. What I did differently was to invite an elderly neighbor over for dinner that day and she was thrilled. She talked about non-family stuff and kept the conversation light and moving along so it was easier for me.

Can you look around you and try to figure out if there is an elderly neighbor or a single person who does not have close family and invite them for dinner? Or maybe plan to go out for something to eat that day. I know it made me feel hugely better to see my neighbor enjoying herself so much and I sent her home with food for the next day. She was very appreciative.

I know it's really hard when we imagine our T's out there leading fun-filled lives without a thought for us. I'm dealing with this right now as my T is on vacation with his second, younger wife. The only thing that helps it to turn our attention to other things and stay busy and productive.

It's not Thanksgiving here yet but if I lived closer to you I'd invite you over for some turkey.

Hugs
TN

(((TK)))
I am so sorry you are in such pain I think TN has some great suggestions, of maybe finding someone who will be non triggering during this time, a distraction, something to fill your mind for a bit. If that feels manageable, maybe that will take a little sting out of the pain. Keep posting as much as you need, know you are thought of and cared about! Sending hugs

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. There are times lately that I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. With everything li'l one and I are working on with T, plus the latest revelations about my adoption, plus work stressors, I feel I'm at my limit. Unfortunately, to top things off last week was a frantic call from my mom at work to say "dad is missing"! he's suffering from increasing short-term memory problems and apparently he went out last week (in the car) to pick up dinner and didn't return for two hours. Before I had a chance to start looking myself, he found his way home with the explanation that he got lost in all the construction. His continuing to drive has been a huge bone of contention between my mom and I because he is their means to independence at the age of 87.

Anyway, all that to say, I feel there's too many major things on my plate and I'm shutting down.

Everything hurts and I just want it to stop.

The Kid