quote:

she has no words to describe such horrific sexual violation that happened to her.

It's so unfair that little ones like Sophie should have to find the words to talk about such awful things. It's not fair, and it's not her fault. It must be so frightening and painful for her. I'm glad she's feeling better. It sounds like you and Faith are doing all you can to help her feel safe, and she's being very strong and very brave by not cutting. I'd like to hug her if I may.

Thanks Starfish. I think you are great too and are so supportive and insightful in your posts. I don't know how you do it without going two to three times a week. I think going more often is easier in a way, but it can be exhausting. I feel like such a weakling that I can't hardly go a week without seeing my T. It feels like I should be able to.

Hi Dragonfly-
Hugs to you!
Reading more than posting lately.

How old is Sophie?

Mayo

Hugs to STRM and Starfish-

It sounds as if you guys are struggling too.

Mayo

STRM

I do sometimes go more than once a week, but not routinely. T is really busy and I work too so it's difficult to schedule more(and it's expensive ). But I feelmlikie I'm making more progress when I have more frequent sessions, can allow myself to be braver in remembering as I know I have the support there if I need it. I have had a few occasions of uncovering something really hard and then a break, and that was horrible; felt totally isolated and unsure of how to cope with not havng a steady person who knew. I am very lucky that my H is really supportive, but it's just not the same, however lovely he might be, as having someone who fully knows and understands.

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I feel like such a weakling that I can't hardly go a week without seeing my T. It feels like I should be able to.

No, not weak at all. I think it's just an indication of how hard and distressing the work that you are doing is. The more intense, then the more frequent your sessions need to be, if not it's not safe and not fair on you. I read on your other thread about your concern re her offer not being genuine, I was going to post there, but I 'll do it here - I have no doubt that her offer was genuine STRM, if not she wouldn't have offered. I know that she let you down once before and that iis where your seeds of doubt probably come from now; but I don't think for a minute she would offer if she didn't mean it. My T says that I can ring if I need to, I always smile inside because I know that the offer is genuine BUT she is impossible to get hold of, and so I would never try, in case I really needed her and she wasn't available. I tend to e-mail, which works better. I think what I'm trying to say to you is that their offers are genuine, but maybe their human and can't always fulfil whati they hope to.... but the intention remains sound.

Mayo, thanks for the hug I feel like am juggling too many balls at the moment and keedropping them. Have talked about lots of difficult memories the last few weeks, now am at a loss to know what to do with them, all swirling round in my head. Yuck. T says we have to still go slowly, face one at a time, but my brain doesn't seem to catch on to the 'one at a time' bit of it. I still have this residual feeling of badness as well, because of what I'm remembering.

Ditto Mayo's hugs to you DF, take care all of you, especially Sophie right now and STRM's little that was so upset in your last session.

starfish

Feathery hugs for Sophie, from BB too... (((((((Sophie)))))))))))))

BB

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STRMS... thanks for your kind words....sounds like you are doing some hard processing too with one of your littles.(I call them C.P's or child parts) I too wish that it wasn't so hard...... are you a mother STRMS? Do you feel motherly towards your C.P's?.....of course dont answer anything that you dont feel comfortable about...i know all to well about diclosing stuff on here and system blow outs Frowner
I am so pleased that you have a T that hugs!!!! These children need to be held and soothed . That's what makes mine heal.someone who is finally there for them and will sit with them in there pain,shame and grief.Its all to do with validation and feeling safe ,loved and cared about......sometimes i think my children cry more from the relief of finally getting that , than actually releasing their secrets.
hugs ((STRMS))

DF,

Yes, I am a mother. I have three children. In fact, lately it seems many of my little parts are paying very close attention to my mothering. They seem to really perk up and take notice of the loving attention and snuggling that I give my children. It is bittersweet though. Reminds them that they didn't have that themselves, but then at the same time they can feel it now. Same with T. She does hold them and comfort them. Nobody ever did that in the past so while it is healing now and feels good it does trigger grieving for what they didn't have. I have adult parts that mother the little parts. I am more intellectual myself, but we do have some inner mothers that help to comfort the little ones.

I can so relate to Sophie and her struggle to talk. Little Kate (the one doing most processing lately) had a tremendously hard time talking on Wednesday. I'm sorry that Sophie is so stuck and so scared. Little Kate knows all about that. Little Kate would like Sophie to know that she is safe now and it is safe to tell. ((((Sophie))))

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Thanks STRMS for your reply and thank you little kate...hugs from sophie.((()))

I don't have anything to add just now, but I want you to know how precious I think this conversation is- the one between Draggers and STRMS.
It just reflects love- healing love.

Mayo

I was very touched too. Please send safe hugs for Kate and Sophie from BB?

BB

Hey BB- how are you?

Not posting much - lots happening-
I will be back- just enjoying reading about the love and support everyne has for one another on this site.
Where else can you find this???

Hey, Mayo...Thanks for asking- I'm hanging in there right now! Good that you are busy...wish I could get motivated, ugh...yeah, it's a really good place. How are you doing?

BB