(((R))) I'm very sorry I don't know what else to say just wanted to send support.

Oh Rachel I do feel for you and understand some of what you must be feeling - no one can ever really understand how someone else feels but empathy goes a long way.

Clearly T2 hasn't any empathy with you at all. There are loads of unseen illnesses not only mental health issues and someone suffering can look fine on the outside. As a T, I thought that empathy and seeing past the outside of someone is key to their role as a caring professional. Telling you that you don't look sick is really very shallow of her and most unhelpful. I would feel the same if I had someone like T2 saying these things to me. It is like someone losing their eyesight through degeneration of a part of the eye and then a professional saying - your eyes look okay

I am really sorry that you are in this situation but thank goodness T1 is coming back and although 43 days sounds like a long time, it will soon be 33 and then 23........... etc

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it better for you. Of course you are anxious about your illness and whether you will need an operation and you have my support and understanding as you go through the next few weeks.

Two suggestions. Would it be possible to change your temporary T to another therapist?

Would you feel like posting how you are feeling on a regular basis during the next 43 days so we can all support you and that you can feel held. Please say if there is anything I can do to help you.

Caroola xx

Rachel,

I am so sorry your T is going to be away for so long. I know it hurts to be separated and that is hard to cope when our Ts are not around for support or to talk to. I am in the same situation now.

I have a second T too and it just isn't the same. I identify with your struggle and offer my support. You are not alone and your feelings are totally understood. I hope to see you around while your T is gone so we can all support each other.

We can support you to Ghost Girl and anyone else who is in that situation.



Caroola x

(((caroola))) (((gg))) ((catalyst))

Thanks so much for your support, guys!! Caroola, I'll try and update periodically. You're right, it probably would make me feel better.

Rachel

Caroola x

37 days! I've already scheduled my appt for the day she gets back. For the whole month of August when she comes back she's only going to be working on Saturdays, and gosh darn it I'm making sure I squeeze myself in before her other clients get those few spots she has available. My anxiety is through the roof, my ed behaviors are creeping back slowly and it sucks not having a T to help me. I've cancelled all appointments with T2, which will definitely piss T1 off when she finds out but I don't care. T2 makes me feel like shit when I walk out of her room. I'll just stick it out and try not to let my anxiety get the best of me. 37 days. I can do it.

Rachel, yes you can do it.

Well done you on cancelling T2, you don't need her. T's are supposed to make you feel better not worse.

I think it is brilliant that you have already booked your sessions with T1. Good to have it in the diary so you can keep looking at the date when you are counting down the days. 37 days will soon go, I know it sounds like forever but it will go and you can get through this without a T.

Sorry to hear of your anxiety returning. I understand, I suffer from anxiety disorder too. Be kind to yourself, try and plan a little treat for each day and a bigger treat at the end of each week.

I think you are coping amazingly well.

Keep posting, I look at the threads most days but in UK time.

Caroola xx

I just got back from a mission trip to see that I only have 27 more days which seems a hell of a lot less than before I left. I'm trying to subdue my ED behaviors and my anxiety for as long as possible, so even if I do b/p eight times in a row or something (like I fear I'm going to do more every day) I won't have to wait as long to talk about it with her and have her start keeping me accountable again.

Well done Rachel

You are amazing how you are getting through this. 27 days will go very quickly especially if you keep yourself busy.

I am interested in your Mission trip?

Your ED may not get as bad as you think. If you read your first post and then the post today, you are so much more positive. I think you can do anything you set your mind to.

T will be very proud of you.

Next time you post there will be even less time to wait until you see T.



Caroola x

19 days now! Sorry that I keep posting about this, I'm sure you're all sick of it by now but I've just been having a bit of a hard time with the attachment issues and such and this helps me stay optimistic, knowing that she's coming back. Now that the countdown is in the teens it doesn't seem like a long time at all.

((Rachel)) Not sick of it at all! It's a long break and totally understandable that you are struggling with it. Reaching out here for connection to help you get through is a really healthy way to handle this. Our own feelings can distort how we see ourselves and having others come alongside us can help us to normalize our feelings and be able to have more compassion for ourselves.

And I totally agree with the teens being easier! I'm down to 16 days and wow, does that sound so much better than 35. Hang in there, she'll be back soon!




AG

Rachel, I am glad to support you during this time. Keep posting as often as you feel the need.

Not long now and you are doing so well.




Caroola x

5 more days... I think they're going to be the slowest five days of my life. I start my senior year on Tuesday and the fact that I'll be able to talk about my anxiety about college with her on Saturday is very reassuring. Knowing she's coming back soon is probably the number one reason why I haven't had as many anxiety attacks as I should be having under this much stress. Ack. College applications are giving me stomachaches. Can't wait to finally be able to see her, to have stability in my life again.

5 days is nothing compared to how many you had to wait from the beginning. You have nearly made it.! Feel so pleased for you.

Yay for having been through this long time! You can e proud of yourself (and you can build a fake Advent Calendar, I do that often, when waiting for something!)