Hi Non,

I don't believe that you take Meds? I actually take one that helps for dissociation specifically (off lable) that has been good. Anyway, I live the night terror/mare stuff a lot and take a medication that has been used on combat PTSD victims to stop their nightmares... And though my dreams are really vivid/funny now... I live terror/mare free and sleep 6-10 hours (miracle, trust me). Its a low blood pressure (and I have LBP) med in a tiny tiny dose and has done wonders. I don't know why more P don't actually work with Meds for many right spectrum dissociative clients - Takes the right P I think. Wish I could share her. I am phonic/hate Meds (had a traumatic history with them) but since her... No more. For some reason I feel like the dissociative population is special exempt from Meds... When there is stuff around.

Good luck. Sometimes there is only so far lifestyle (or melatonin, or nerve tonic, or Tes
Or whatever) can go. Yoga may help - it does for me. I sleep better stretched and listening to talk radio (just a voice). AND... If where I am sleeping feels even remotely unsafe or triggering............. I sleep somewhere else. Right now I'm scared of my bed so I sleep on my couch, and when I'm scared of that... I sleep on the floor and my cats then sleep on me. As I've taken this med I've been able to move back in to my bedroom and sleep there maybe 70% of the time

Okay gotta go...
Cats marching on my bladder claiming I haven't fed him in light years

Anon,

I tried the melatonin a few months ago. I have problems with waking in the early morning. I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat but every morning I wake around 3 then fall back to sleep and wake again at 4. Sometimes the whole scenario starts at 1 am.

I found the melatonin actually created horrific nightmares for me. I will have some scary or strange dreams on my own but on the melatonin I was chopping off body parts. Lots of gorey stuff. I stopped it and things went back to normal for me.

Jillann

***Triggers - sorry for the late warning, references SU and trauma stuff***

(((Cat))) Thanks so much for all your sharing. I knew you'd have good information for me. I wish I knew why I was so irrationally afraid of meds and psychiatrists. The only bad experience I'm aware of is that my older sister made an attempt with some meds when I was a kid. I was aware something happened, but not exactly what until years later, so I can't imagine that's it. My last psychiatrist was...not helpful, either, telling me no mom ever has serious SU. If I'm going to give it a go, I'd like to know I'm going to get a good one who knows what s/he is doing. My T is absolutely no help in this area (finding a Pdoc), as he's happy for me not to be on meds except as a last resort. I'm so glad it's getting a little better for you!!! And that you have kitties to keep you company. Mine do that too, but now that we have a cat tree by the bed, one of them uses it to dive-bomb me.

Jillann - (((hugs))) Thanks for your input. I don't think it's the melatonin, because my dreams have always been like this. I seriously remember awful dreams like this from when I was a kid and have always had a ratio of like 99% bad dreams (either nightmares or really stressful) to 1% good, interesting dreams. Well, some of my bad dreams ARE really interesting, but still... I did, however, the first few days, have that waking at 3:00am thing, but I had it a couple of days before starting it too. Boo has just started school, so I think it might be related to that. Anyway, it hasn't made my nightmares any worse, so far, but because I am much busier these last few weeks and Boo's schedule has completely changed, I can't make up for bad nighttime sleep with extra (also bad/nightmare) rest/nap times.


In fact, that makes me think...all these sleep issues and nightmares got MUCH worse when Boo started school, and I have had a number of anxious dreams around getting her to school, picking her up from school, bad things happening there, etc., so I wonder if this milestone has just activated some stuff in me right now. School was a very safe place for me eventually, but when I started I was so lost and my parents were no help at all...just dropping me off with no direction where to go and my mom bringing me late or forgetting to pick me up often enough that the secretary seemed perpetually annoyed/mad at me. Also, it seems to be around the time that some really awful stuff was going on with my mom's boyfriend which I can't confirm, and known stuff which eventually led to my sisters being taken away by their dad and my mom having a breakdown in the year that followed (confirmed, though I don't really remember anything but my sisters being there and then gone). Therapy has seemed a lot deeper and more intense since then...so maybe it's another one of those, "Boo is the age when bad stuff happened," things that brings up all sorts of turmoil in me.

quote:

as a terrifying psychotic serial killing child or surviving in a post-apocalyptic world.

You might do well to discuss this with your T Anon.

I had similar nightmares/fantasies that indicated a lot of anger needed to be expressed.

(((anon)))

Have you tried Unisom? It's over the counter and works better than melatonin.

Muff - Thanks. Sometimes we do discuss my dreams, but if I brought in every nightmare I had all week long and remembered, it would probably be all we talked about even with two extended sessions per week. I keep him generally informed and sometimes (as in the case of the psycho kid) we discuss them in detail, but it also really activates me feeling too vulnerable, so sometimes I struggle to share. The one with the kid was actually a dream about the wrongness of being noticed, valued, special, acknowledging worth, etc., in the context. For some reason, I'm always some sort of leader in the post-apocalyptic ones, having to protect weaker people, keep them safe, organize things to keep the group surviving and functioning.

HIC - I haven't tried that. Is it addictive or does it cause you to be groggy on waking? If I even take a single Tylenol PM (which has benedryl in it) when the normal dosage is two, I have trouble waking/getting up at all in the morning. It's like I'm in a (hazier than usual) fog for a couple of hours after waking. I'm very sensitive to medications of any sort, which may be one reason I'm always scared to use them. Doctors always prescribe way too much, because at my weight, I "should" need that amount, but they always knock me out and I have to take less than prescribed. My epidural during labor was a real problem, because instead of just killing the pain, they killed all connection to my body at all from the waist down and I could still not support any weight on my legs more than twelve hours later. Ugh, another subject there...

I hope you can find a good one - mine does NOT give a damn what my diagnosis Is and deals with my symptoms.

I have/had an irrational fear (I was poisoned growing up). But for some good sleep? The time invested is good.

quote:

Well, some of my bad dreams ARE really interesting, but still...

Hi Non -

I don't know if this will help, but I used to get horrible nightmares a lot and got on top of them - now only get one in a blue moon, and even then it doesn't continue to frighten me.

Two strategies worked for me. One was continuing the dream (staying 'in' it imaginatively) after I woke up to get things to a safe place. Whatever it takes. Your dreaming mind has no restrictions, so you don't either in continuing the dream. You can fly away, create a magic wand to help you fix things, you can lay healing hands or have god come down or transform threats into allies, whatever you like. Usually that's what allows me to go quickly back to a restful sleep afterwards.

The other thing is to get really interested in your dreams, which you have already begun. Be curious about their symbols and details, the tones and feelings, the colours and textures. See if you can match the fierceness of the imagery with the intensity of your interest. Write everything down if you can. Your dreaming mind is like an artist or a child who wants your attention! She's using a vivid palette at the moment. If you attend closely, like you would when you look at a picture Boo has made, you may find that the attention itself helps, without you needing to do or say anything in particular about the picture.

Not sure if this will be of use but hope it gets easier.

(((Jones))) Those recommendations really help. I remember in college, when I would journal them for a class on sleep medicine, I seemed much less disturbed and interrupted by those dreams. Maybe I'll go back to doing that. I do sometimes stay in dreams imaginatively when they have to do with random stuff, but when it's actual memory stuff (or very related), I just want as far away from it as possible.

Hey anon,

Sorry it's taken me a little while to get back with you. I've taken Unisom nightly for weeks at a time, not specifically for sleep but actually "off label" to help control hyperemesis during pregancy-- with my dr.'s full knowledge and approval, of course. Apparently it's pretty widely used that way.

Anyway, it has to be pretty safe if they let you use it when pregnant. She also told me you can't get addicted to it.

First time I took it it *really* knocked me out. I think I slept for twelve hours! However, after a little while it was just giving me a "normal" good night's sleep. Nine hours or so if the kids didn't interrupt me otherwise. It never gave me side effects and I've never had trouble quitting once the hyperemesis was better.

Idk, you could always give it a try and not take it more than once if you don't like it. Could also try taking half a pill and see if that helps some.

HTH