thank you so much for the wonderful words of encouragement Blanket Girl! you are right, I do trust them, so i can trust... hopefully, I will be able to do it more w humans too...

(edited to take out one insigificant personal detail)

I have to agree with BG. You are starting to trust again. The horses and even people on this forum.

PG

jane, at least for me, i have to test anyone before i trust them fully. even to myself, i pretend to trust, i fool myself. but i am learning that i get angry with them, or mad, or do something to test the relationship, to see if it will sustain or fail. i expect failure.

and the track record you have had with 'trusted' people , it is quite understandable that you should be wary. horses have no hidden agenda, and you see what you get. that i guess is some of the beauty of what you are doing there. the horses know your heart, and you know their's. so, that is all cards on the table.

but people?? i trust my immediate family, and really, that is it. no one, i could try to pretend to myself that i trust more, but no, not even any t i have ever been to, do i fully trust. people are different. and i think, too, there is perhaps a perspective in this, maybe not, but, maybe, trusting others FIRST has to come with trusting yourself to sustain yourself should the other fall through. if WE can trust OURSELF to maintain and live through some form of betrayal, or some less offensive slight, then we can more readily extend our trust to others, as we will know that we can stand on our own two feet should they not be what or who we expected them to be.

long story, but, i think, for me, trusting others will come more readily when i can really trust myself fully. hmmm, i think that may indeed make sense.

humans are tough to trust. especially for people who have been burned from an early age. really tough, but i think we can only change ourself, and maybe trusting others isn't so much about finding a PERFECTLY trustworthy person, but being able to trust ourself. sorry for being repetitive,

you do lay yourself open to us quite often, so, you are stepping out....hugs, jill

Hi Janedoe,

One thing I've learned from being around horses for so long is that you learn SO much about a person by watching how they interact with their horses. Seeing their sensitivity and responsiveness to a horse seems like one of the best gauges of the type of person they truly are, because you can't fake that around a horse. I think you'll continue to heal so much from equine-assisted therapy because it's almost as if you get to observe, first-hand, a therapy session where you can see how the therapist responds to someone else (in this case, the horse). It's a stepping stone to get you to reach out and try to receive the care that you can see this T is offering all of the horses you are working with. There's also a little bit of common ground with the horses, because you can intuitively tell what the horse needs from you in that moment, and seeing that the T can tell that as well will help build your trust even more.

(Btw, I hope that made sense! My brain just feels foggy lately.)

Big hugs,
K