... was I horrible when I was little. Is that why the things that happened happened? My adult head says, well, no kid deserves it... but I do wonder if I was just horrible.
I constantly wonder now, do people like me. I think they wont. Did anyone like me when I was little? What is it about me that isn't ok? If anything at all? I have friends, but I think that any second now they will leave, they will realise that I'm horrible and never speak to me again. Even though I've known some of them for decades. I dont have friends from when I was small - I moved away...
I wasn't ever good enough for my mother. I'm still not. It's sad. I'm sad. I wish I could go back in time and rescue me as a baby and take me someplace safe and warm. Then, I'd grow up and not wonder...