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2 replies

I think I should leave my small child self outside the session and talk from my adult

S sheychenSadly
AS most of you know, the sessions I am having are fraught with disagreeing and me hurling 'you don't care about me' messages at my T almost without a break - and it is no use telling me NOT to do that, - hse just says something which will set me off and I am fired up and go -
I do TRY not to - but it is like the smallest part of me that was never heard and is angry like hell is breaking out.

So I thought that I could go in as an adult next session and just talk calmly and objectively about the over view of what I think is happening,

OR

I could go in as the raging child who justs wants to be held (my T DOES hold me) and aadmit theat and then we can move from there, once I am held and reassured again.

This allstems form the break I had - when she went away and truthfully I felt- no my little me felt - she had LEFT me abandoned me - and there are such big feelings of being hurt about that. Arghhh

And my adult is nsort of in denial about that as I felt that she needed a brek and I actually felt that i was feeling okay about that - but ever since she has come back I have ben so angry at her - classic huh!!! Embarrassingly so.

Anyway, I fear that if I keep being this angry she will ask to stop being my T
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scaredtoriskmyselfscaredtoriskmyselfCo-moderator
I think either approach would be ok. You could go in and talk about how you perceive your child part is feeling about all of this. Explain to your T that she is feeling abandoned, angry etc. and that you feel like those feelings need to be worked through before you can move forward. I would also tell her that this child part feels like she needs to be held and then possibly once she feels safe with that then she can explain or talk to T about how she is feeling.

Having said that, I know that one of my child parts that is most attached to T had trouble reconnecting and allowing any contact at first because she did feel abandoned and she felt like T wasn't going to help her so it felt risky to reach out. T gradually worked with her to allow a tiny bit of contact and then work up from there to T holding her and then she was able to express what she had been feeling about T being gone and also about her return.

Not sure if any of that helps, but I hear where you are coming from. ((((hugs)))

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