I want to leave a "good-bye post" since I think I will be departing from MyShrink forum. I will keep checking in and reading every now and then, but I think I won't contribute and perhaps it's time for me to go. I don't really have much to contribute and I am not in need of support (except from my exceptional T).
This place was an eye-opener for me. It was amazing to learn about other people's therapy experiences and about all the feelings that arouse because of being in therapy. Some of the stories were really painfull and I'm so sorry that for some of you the therapy was a bad experience that only added to the pain then healed the wounds. I also know that many of you had much much more painful childhood than I had, and healing is a really long and bumpy road, but I wish that you all will get there. Just never ever loose hope and believe that it is possible and you are going to get there.

I realized the difference between me - the grown up child and me - the adult that I am just becoming. My T says it's a very strong adult. I'm kind of full of pride and amazed for discovering this big and strong "Don't fuck with me" part of myself. I know that the child in me will be safe now and never ever hurt or lonely again. I'm full of hope for the future and full of energy and strength to live the present. I am going to be in therapy for much much longer, but my feelings for my T are becoming more "grown up" and I am becoming bigger child, ready to explore the world. Don't need to hold his hand all the time and have him around, in my head, all the time, but I know he still is there for me and I will be staying with him till I'm ready to be fully on my own. There is still so much to do, so much to talk about and to explore.

Another funny thing happened...
I am dating a man. It's nothing serious yet, and maybe there won't be anything serious out of it, but...
There are two things about this guy (except that he seems to be quite interesting).
When I met him the first time, my impression was, that he is like my T. Then I thought that when I went for my very first therapy session, and if instead of my T there was this guy, I would have stayed with him as well.
The second funny thing is that months, months ago I had a dream that I met another therapist, very good-looking, angel-like man, tall, with short, blonde and curly hair. And in my dream this guy wanted to be my therapist, he wanted me to choose him over my T. Now, the guy I am talking about is not amazingly good-looking but is tall with blonde, curly hair. Kind of freaky coincidence... But we shall see...

So that's that guys... Take care of yourselves and try to hold on through the darkest storms.
Remember, we are not alone anymore...