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One good connected session and you think "finally... I'm done" when really it's just beginning.

Yep, that's pretty much been my motto in therapy all along

((((CAT))))

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Today... was the first time I ever think I've actually talked WITH my T

OOOOOHHHHHH, CAT, that's so wonderful. Such a nice feeling, isn't it?

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It's also hard, when I'm feeling good... to justify my therapy. Has anyone had that? One good connected session and you think "finally... I'm done" when really it's just beginning.

I go through this all the time. I handled my recent separation from my T much better than I did a year ago and of course, my first thought was that he'd want me to go back to once a week. He said it wasn't even a thought in his mind. You're probably right, that it's really just the beginning.

xxxx

Great work Cat! Sometimes the "nothing profound" sessions turn out to be more powerful afterwards than we realize at the time.

You ARE processing and handling and moving through a lot right now, it's almost as if the work of your therapy is a 24/7 "lab class" and the time with your Ts are like the "lecture class" kinda.

I admire your willingness to learn and try new ways to feel and how to feel, that is great progress! Just because you feel good and things are going smoother, doesn't mean you need the therapy any less. You could almost think of therapy as a pencil sharpener - yeah, you can write with a dull pencil, but things look and feel a lot better with a sharper one. T as pencil sharpener (new analogy for me)

I have a quote somewhere that says something along the lines of "when you think you're done, you've really just begun." I use it in the classroom for writing, but it really applies everywhere. Now that you're taking this time to focus solely on YOU, all the work you've done up to this point has gotten you to the place where you're now ready to face some of that other crud you've been dealing with.

Glad you updated us - great work! (((Cat)))

wow that just sound so amazing. i dont know what else to say

Cat,
That's so great to hear! So happy for you. I always think I'm done...but Noooo...just getting started...I always have a hard time justifying my therapy too. So glad you're turning a corner now...super great!

R2G,
I loved your analogies...they really do apply in life.

Hopeful

((BLT))

((Liese)) It's funny how our Ts often think much differently than we do, or see us different.

((R2G)) I loved your lab/lecture analogy! Wow... I also like what you have to say in the classroom, it really is true.

((granite))

((Draggers)) it does indeed!

((hopeful)) Yes! Justifying... ugh. My life. hehe

I'm glad so many people feel me on the I'm better, I'm done thing.

One of the messages I grew up with is that only people crisis/conflict/struggle receive attention. Not wanting attention from any sort of adult I think I cultivated a good mask of humor and denial. In therapy I've learned to discuss them. I also learned growing up that people would only like me if I was succeeding at something. So, I had this weird mismash of communicating my struggles but then immediately talking about whats improved. This meant I could justify my therapy and also not be hated. I'm learning... I don't have to be struggling and/or succeeding - I can be anything. I think this is where my thought of "I feel better, it's time to be done now" comes from. Not meeting that criteria means I'm done and/or disliked and should go. I think it's different for everyone.

It was just nice to be there in a no pressure way - my Ts are always compassionate, gentle, attentive no matter where I am. It was good to have a session like this because I'm yo-yo'ing a lot right now.

Thank you guys for always been here in the good and bad, for everyone. It's been a hard message for me to integrate.

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One of the messages I grew up with is that only people crisis/conflict/struggle receive attention. Not wanting attention from any sort of adult I didn't discuss these things. In therapy I've learned to discuss them. I also learned growing up that people would only like me if I was succeeding at something. So, I had this weird mismash of communicating my struggles but then immediately talking about whats improved.

Wow, this really resonated with me, Cat. For the longest time I've felt like it was only OK to go to therapy if I somehow deserved it by suffering worse than other people (therefore I was cheating somehow by going). I've also felt like I could only call my T if I were having a horrible crisis, even though she never told me that. Yet, at the same time I felt like I always had to be handling the crisis WELL, and I couldn't seem too pessimistic. Just two weeks ago I had a moment of clarity in my session and asked T what it meant that I was having the urge to apologize to her for being depressing and morbid. She was like "Well, if everything were great, you probably wouldn't be here!"

More and more I think maybe therapy is about having a relationship where you're allowed to just be where you are, no matter where that might be at any time. It seems new to me to think I can just let the connection exist, without questioning how much I need or deserve it at any given time.