RT i don't honestly know. the only thing i can imagine is that she is holding the door open for you while you figure out what it is you need to do next. whether it's to look for a new T or talk about what the next possible best move would be? somebody to bounce ideas off of? i don't know, but it sounds to me like she can't meet your needs (and that's okay cuz she's staying true to herself) but she's reaching out so that you're not alone in deciding your next step. i don't know. i'm just taking a stab. it sounds to me like she personally can't meet your particular needs, but will stick with you through the transition period. it sounds okay to me. i understand you pain, and i'm really sorry for it. this is my take. i wish you the best in working this all out.

Hi RT.

I see this offer from your T as an expression of concern for your well-being and her commitment to it. It sounds like her commitment to your well-being is solid, but she realizes that her ability to meet your needs is limited. It's that weird blend of professional-personal that seems to define the T relationship.

"I will be here for you" for my T turns out to mean (1) always keeping/finding an appointment time for me and (2) consistently responding to my outside-of-session contact. That's what she told me, essentially, this week. I was shocked because that seems so little. And I was angry because I had thought that her support would include knowing how to meet my most pressing need in the moment (she didn't) and not turning down my request for her to give more direction in my sessions (she won't).

I had thought if I just ask (because it is so hard for me to ask), T will respond and help me (because she knows how hard it is for me to ask). Instead, she took what I consider a hard line (though not unreasonable), and now I have to see if I can live with that line and make progress under those terms.

Your T being there for you, under the circumstances, might mean simply being there, to sit with you or maybe process any further thoughts/feelings with you, so you don't have to do it alone. I don't know if I could do it, with so many difficult emotions involved, but if you can, maybe it would feel less turbulent than going it alone? You don't have to decide anything right away, do you? Maybe just let the whole scene settle a bit in your mind before moving forward?

((((RT))))) I'm sorry it's a rough road right now.

RabbitEars

Oh man, I just wrote this whole thing and deleted it somehow. Maybe that's good, I go on to much.

RT, I think that a lot of it is up to you to decide how you want her to "be there." If it were me, I would probably go there to vent, to think out loud, just to make contact with a human, to have someone who's gauging how "safe" I am (because I'm alone a lot). It would be awkward, but better than having no one until you find a new T (probably - I don't know the details). Maybe by your next appointment time, you will be out of shock and out finding a new T who is a better fit. But I'm glad that she came out to your car to check on you, you must have been really upset to have lost track of time like that.

I saw your post about emotional pain and I'm worried about you. I'm not here much, and I haven't been here long, but you have really made an impression on me. You are always so supportive of people here who are needing help, and I hate to hear that you are suffering. I hope that it eases a little and that you can get some little breaks from it.

Hugs.

((((RT))))

((((RT))))

I'm so sorry you are going thru so much pain right now!
I hope your T gets back to you soon.


blu