Hopeful,

In my experience, this is just the beginning. Once you recognize there is transference going on, you can start paying attention to your beliefs and behaviors to foster a deeper understanding of your unconscious impulses that are really about the past, so you can change them now. This played out for me by going back again and again and talking about what was going on between me and my T and using his feedback to understand what was going on. Just knowing there is transference isn't enough in my book, we have to learn to be conscious of when it is kicking in and tripping us up, so we can stop being driven by it.

AG

Thanks AG for your insights and for responding! I appreciate it. I've understood about it for a long time now but had misplaced where it was coming from. I feel like it clears the way for much more. Thanks so much.

hopeful, I am kind of where you're at right now. After years and I mean years I am finally admitting to myself and in short order to my T, my issue with transference, my mom and anyone else I have put on a pedestal (which is problem for me.) I have danced around this in therapy for forever. I am super scared of going down this path because I think, like AG mentioned, it is the beginning and I feel like I don't have a lot of time to get this done. It sounds like you have been brave enough to broach this with your T already, which is awesome. I will be thinking of your courage to do this, as I push myself to do this also. Good luck and please post updates.

(((HOPEFUL)))

I couldn't respond earlier because I didn't know what to say but I love what AG said about it just being the beginning. Once you can identify the transference, you start to notice a forest of it. It's nice to have a T around to help clear it out.

Hi Becca,
Thanks so much for writing! I wrote something to my T like nine months ago and I have only brought up the word like two times since then...I said that yesterday that I have put people on a pedestal and it needs to be talked about so we will talk next week...just got off of a two minute phone conversation with her but couldn't really talk. I hope you'll be able to bring it up with your T also soon...sometimes I'll do something dumb like I did today when I called her which I will make myself accountable to do it next week. It must be your post that I saw not too long ago about this stuff so I could have used your thread but I was in a hurry to get my thoughts out here. Good luck and you be brave too and post updates also.


Liese,
Thanks for commenting also. There really is a forest of it and I feel good enough to finally really talk it out. She knew I was feeling good yesterday and I gave her a good opening. I was never happy with her responses that that was all there was...it would feel like I'm pushed out in a way without ever resolving it. I'm sure she has figured out that I have gone back in my hiding place when I didn't understand some stuff so she is more specific nowadays and I was really surprised that she took the opportunity to question me when something about my mom came up because I would not have gone to transference otherwise. Thanks for the hugs and I hope all is well for you.

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