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13 replies

IMAGINE.....

True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
As a co-moderator I'm on line here fairly often for quick check ins to make sure all is going well and that there are no special requests going unanswered. I have noticed that there is consistently on average 30-40 people on this site. Yet... there may be only 3 or 4 posts during this time.

Imagine what a vibrant, active, lively, energetic, vital, animated and even more supportive place this could be of even half of those reading would post or contribute something. To share an insight, or share experiences, especially of those experiences in sessions with their T so the rest of the group can learn and experience and gain insight into what makes therapy work. This is a place to learn about good therapy and how to avoid bad therapy/therapists. But if no one shares then everyone loses.

As it stands now, I am not sure what those 30-40 people are reading or thinking. I know there are times when some of us are hurting too much to post, yet perhaps that is when it's most important so you can receive support. And even just the exercise of writing out what happens with your T in session can be therapeutic. I, recently had this happen as I wrote about my session that left me angry and upset with T, I had an amazing breakthrough into why he was doing what he was. In writing here and reading the comments of other members I found clarity and peace with what happened, instead of pulling in and withdrawing and feeling alone. Instead, it left me feeling ireally wonderful and when I shared my insights with T he was pleased and proud of me.

I know there are others who feel shy, or like they have nothing to offer. But everyone has something to offer and you never know how you can impact someone else unless you put your thoughts out there or offer support to someone.

Just imagine.......

I hope no one is offended by this post and please understand that this is not directed at anyone in particular. It's just my own opinion and my own observations (not that of a moderator).

Thanks for reading
TN
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muddmuddMember
True North


Thanks for the insight on whats happening on the boards that we don't see. I do very much appreciate the post.
I've noticed the past couple of days since I'm posting & using my phone so much it probably says I'm online, but I really just have the window open. I like to check in when I have a few minutes to spare.
Thanks for your dedication to the forum!
Muddering
A amberMember
I appreciate your post TN, and I very much agree this can be a great place to find support and share experiences. Can I share something that I think is important to say in all this?

I think that when we put ourselves out here, we are risking vulnerability--sometimes a huge amount of it! To do so takes a certain level of trust. Many postings on here are from places of being in extreme pain or struggle, as we process through the healing journey and the struggles of our lives. In fact, I am often so amazed at the incredible level of trust that is placed into the hands of others here.

Having said that, I think it is not always easy to post and bear one's heart, because there is always the potential for hurt. People might risk sharing and then go "unseen", receiving no response whatsoever. That is really hard if someone is crying out for help or just needs to know others really care. Fact is, so many of us are coming from places of traumatic childhoods (and adulthoods), where our trust was trampled, and it can be risky and terrifying business to trust at all. Sometimes, all we can do is just listen for a while before we are willing to step out and risk, and that's OK.

For others who do risk that stepping out, I would encourage that we be mindful of the trust placed in each other when someone puts themselves out there, and that if we feel so moved, to respond and honor that trust when we can. We never know how a kind word or caring gesture or appropriate smiley icon(!) might deeply impact another, or how it can help us know we are not alone because the stuff we are going through is something some others also have experienced.

Thanks for the space to risk sharing this, and know my intention was not to diminish that beautiful image of what this place can be.
mad hattermad hatterMember
I am guilty of being one of those who reads but does not post often. Usually I either don't know what to say, or I don't have much time, or I am triggered by the topic. Also, I think I am too insecure to keep posting when hardly no one responds. That's my own hang-up, not anyone else's fault. But I could do better to contribute if I thought it actually made a difference to someone. I have been working on a re-introductory post that is taking me a long time to finish. I was about to bag it, but after reading this thread I will keep trying to get out the words. Thanks, TN, for the invitation. Smiler
pathwewalkpathwewalkMember


I work from home with my staff scattered across the US so I am online all the time, so I pop in here when I'm feeling kinda lonely to just connect to "someone."

I often resonate with so much of what many of you write, but I feel woefully inadequate in offering any advice and often even encouragement.

I'll work harder, too. I value this community a lot, even if I don't contribute much (to date).
True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
Hi Jillann... and thanks for posting.

Amber... I do appreciate and understand what you are saying.

Hey Mad Hatter its great to see you back here. Sometimes there are not enough people around posting to respond to everyone and this is why I am posting this. So that everyone realizes, even if they are not experts, that their kind words and support mean so much to others who are hurting and risking to post about it. I will look forward to your re-introductory post letting us know what is happening for you these days.

Outsider... thank you for posting and for letting us know that you value this community. I'm glad you are a part of it too.

GettingBetter... hello and welcome to the Board. Thank you for sharing some of your story with us. You are a great example of the healing that happens when you keep pushing ahead even though you are scared and it's really hard to do. I'm glad you are seeing some healing and I hope you will share more of your journey with us.

Draggers, honey. Please don't give up. Hugs to you.

TN
closeddoorscloseddoorsMember
this is a really good thread, (((TN))) and i thank you for starting it. can't put much out here at the moment, but this is really inportant to the community here, and i hope we can all come to some mutual understanding that vulnerability is not a bad thing. i'll be back. keep this post alive, cuz i think it's critical for alot of us to everyone
yakusokuyakusokuMember
It's been really hard for me to post lately, because I'm in a place of really needing support, but my being terrified. I feel really lost and wonder if I'm just always going to be stuck in not-belonging, and not-trusting anxieties. In that place, unless I have something really practical (intellectual) to say, it's hard for me to share much experiential with anyone, and I'm sorry for that. Shame and hopelessness make it hard to "be around" others, even electronically.

As people being online, I frequently have psychcafe open in one of the tabs of my browser, even if I am not actively reading it at the moment, and my laptop is left on for periods when I'm not on it as well, so it might show up as if I'm here (as a guest) when I'm really not. I do read on a daily basis and if I think I have anything that could possibly help, at all, I do try to post, but lately, I feel, as I said, so lost that I feel like any wisdom I have to offer is akin to the blind leading the blind.
True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
Hey Draggers... I'm so sorry you feel burnt out and exhausted. Please take care of yourself and if you need a break from here that is fine, just take it and know you will be welcomed back with open arms when you feel ready to return.

It is not yours or anyone's responsibility to keep things going here and to be there for everyone. This is a community and when some are not able to post, then others are here to step in and pick up. That is why the more people who are here the easier it is for everyone and it helps to keep it all moving along, keeps things vibrant and flowing and helpful.

This thread was not meant to make posters feel guilty or bad about how much they post, especially if they are struggling to the point of feeling "wordless". I've been there myself. Feeling unable to articulate the swirling feelings. It is more to encourage those who are afraid to dip their toe in the water to come in and join the community and be an active part of something good.

TN

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