How are you feeling today? The one-word thing isn't a rule, because I know that I, at least, am incapable of omitting an explanation, but maybe pick the best word to describe where you're at right now...and then explain what you mean.
I am feeling ... RIDICULOUS!
Explanation: I was trying to get my mind off T and onto God and feel held and loved there. I was reading Psalm 42 randomly and really relating to the feelings there. And now, I am just feeling ridiculous for even comparing it to my "pain," which feels like such an overreaction, so unjustified. I get that from some peoples' perspectives, the neglect and abuse I experienced might seem horrific and my brokenness makes perfect sense. But to me, in this moment, I feel completely ridiculous for being in therapy and for needing T so much and for not being able to accomplish the things I need to get done, because a weight that was placed on my shoulders before my memory exists is suddenly so heavy I can't bear it. And I understand that *I* am the oppressive enemy; I am the one doing it to myself...but I can't figure out how to stop this condemnation.
It is making me exhausted to always be wanting someone who expects nothing from me to just come and hold me in their arms and not let go for hours and hours. I feel ridiculous for being so hurt that I "missed the boat" on that experience.PS - Sorry, posted this in the wrong section, so had to delete and move it over here.
...and just now I'm realizing what I identified is a judgment and not a feeling and wanting to yell at myself for not even getting my own dang exercise right.
)
Here's hoping we can all find some bouncy in our lives today. 