Hi DBS

Firstly I am deeply aware of how painful and horrible this headspace is.

I've struggled with similar feelings intermittently through the 4 years I've been seeing my T. I had a patch last year where it completely dominated my life for about 3 or 4 weeks; during that time I spent days crying in bed, journalling, barely sleeping and feeling like a hurt and terrified little girl who just wanted someone to pick her up and soothe away all the pain.

The pervasiveness and intensity did lessen, and then I've had sporadic periods of it since.

Something that really helped me was that when I let go (a little bit and for a little while) of longing for so much that I missed out on, I was able to be more open to what was there for me in the present. And for the first time I really felt my T's genuine love and care for me. It changed our relationship in the most profound way but also brough up the deeply painful knowledge that my parents didn't do this for me.

I guess the important thing is to hang in there, be reassured that it does and will pass and in the meantime, lean on your T and on us here. You aren't alone anymore

Hugs to you xxx

Thank you GreenEyes for replying. I have so felt those moments of wanting to be totally held and cared for and be completely mothered by someone because I didn't have that when I was a child. I imagine getting this from T even though I can't in an actual way -- I get it from him in his consistent attention and attunement and caring. It is so painful to realize that I didn't get this when I should have had it.

I go in and out of the more intense feelings but am aware everyday of new sensations that are not about now but about long ago.

Thanks for your support and advice. It is amazing how just sharing my story and thoughts with others and getting a response can be comforting.

DBS

DBS

I've gone throug a similar experience with my T last year. I had abandonment issues so all I wanted was for T to pick me up, hold me, cuddle me, tell me everything was going to be ok etc. I never let her know that though, it was too embarrassing. Since I see T at the counseling center from the university that I attend, knowing that I was going to have long breaks away from her at a time (summer break, holiday break) was actually a good thing in the long run. I knew I couldn't keep or have that unhealthy attachment to her cos then I would basically be emotionally crippled during the longer breaks. It happened during Christmas break last year; I pretty much regressed and shut down emotionally while I was home cos I didn't have T. I was able to have email contact but it wasn't the same. It got better during the summer though and learned that the "childlike" attachment I had to T was not good for me and I had to learn to self soothe and all that stuff cos I knew that my relationship with T wasn't always going to be a year round consistent thing. It was extremely difficult for me for a while and I longed for T so many times during this past summer break, but I got through it and felt more empowered and stronger by th time I was back at school and seeing T again. Time limits are hard to say (bleh ) but just know you will get through it! You're stronger than you think

Shalom!
Diva

I just thought I'd mention these CD's here. I have not used them personally as I haven't had a problem with prolonged regression, but they come recommended by various therapists for soothing and nurturing your own inner child, and might diminish the longings and pain experienced in regression and contribute towards healing: http://www.april-steele.ca/imaginal-cds.php

Diva: Thanks for sharing your story and your support! It really ebbs and flows. I definitely have moments where I feel so alone and need my T a great deal and others where I feel very strong and know I will survive until my next session. (I like the latter better! I am glad that you felt more empowered and stronger after your break!

BLT: Thanks so much for the recommendation and I will check them out!