Maybe try talking to him or her?

Thank you turtle I have been trying to do that.
But it seems like I cant get through to her.
Two years ago my T hurt her badly. I didn´t listen to her when she was hurt, I told her to shut up.
Now I´m seeing T again after almost two years break. T is great now and after the break she is willing to hear that inner child but I have a hard time connecting.

Maybe since you so recently started seeing T again, it will take your inner kid a bit of time to warm up. I feel I know my T pretty well and my inner kid(s) come out but oh so rarely does the one I need to work with, despite my deeply felt trust.

Ah, I see. Is it with the same therapist then?

Well, keep in mind that this is a little kid. So being told to shut up probably had a huge affect on her. Maybe the first thing to do is to apologize for telling her to shut up. (I am not judging you at all) I say these things from my own experience. I have had to cajole my inner child at times too. She is the most wounded and I myself have gone a long way in hurting her. She has no reason to trust me. So when I do try to talk to her I have to be very patient and gentle. Does that make sense?

Thank you catalyst, yes you are probably right I am being impatient with my inner kid. I have just met T two times after that long break. Of course after all that happened she is scared to emerge again. Before she had really opened up and she was so vulnerable that´s why it hurt so bad when T said some poorly thought things to her. She (and I) have to build up that trust with T again.

Turtle, yes it is with the same therapist. I still have some transference with her so I decided it would be right to see her again after all this time. I believe we can build back what we broke.
What you say makes a great sense, I had not thought about that, it is right I have to apologize to little me. I did very wrong by telling her to shut up when she was so hurt. By doing that she became very lost. I myself could not eat or sleep for months, I tried suicide heard voices, dissociated, often had to hide in a closed because I was so scared, had to stay in hospital for a long time. She has no reason to trust in me. She does not trust T either. You are right T and I have to be very patient and gentle with her and just hope she will dare to show up again.

Before the storm T did not want to talk to much about little me or my transference, now I feel that has changed I think that is great. It just felt strange that now when T is willing to talk about this things little me does not want to show up.

Speaking from rather recent experience with li'l one, words will not impress her at first at all. Just try and be in the same space as her. Ask her permission if you can just sit or lay with her. If you listen to music, offer to rock her back and forth in your lap. She may want to face you or she may want to face outward. Li'l one used to hang on for dear life and would simply not look at me. But she held on so tight. I think that's the best thing you can do right now. Actions speak louder than words. Spend some quiet time after you first wake up in the morning or before you go to sleep. She needs to know you're not going anywhere and needs comfort.

Hope this helps. Keep us posted...definitely don't rush things...she needs consistency every day.

The Kid

Thank you for your reply Kid
Last session with T I kept my eyes closed almost all the time, and it was really hard to look at T.I think that was little one, she didn´t want to see us.
Two years ago I could very much feel little one.I played her lullabies at night before we went to sleep and she allowed me to rock her and she allowed me to stroke her cheek and she felt T was her mum.
Your advice is very good Kid. I am going to ask her permission if I can lay with her and play her some nice music before we go to sleep. Maybe in time she will trust me enough to come back and let me comfort her.
I hope she will also learn to trust T again. It is hard that we only see T every other week.