I am so lost right now. I have been in the PHP program for 3 weeks now. The first week the head nurse was on vacation so things were a little disorganized and running off. The second week there was a large snow storm here and the program operated on Monday, Tues was all about planning for Wed and Thurs snow. We were supposed to be back Friday but that never happened so we only had two days that week. Then this week things really started to click. I was really starting to get something out of the group sessions and starting to see some hope of recovery. Then on Thursday this week my insurance co called and said that I should be cured from Anorexia after 8 days of programming and they were not going to authorize any more time in the program. They were saying complete lies about me and got into a big argument with the head psychiatrist. They do not want to discharge me from the program as I have yet to be able to have a successful weekend. I am so horribly triggered right now I want to loose another 20 pounds so the idiotic insurance company can pay for inpatient care if they didn't like paying for out patient care! I know that just hurts me but I am not thinking clearly and can't get out of this self annhilation. I am having chest pains and the last EKG showed signs of possible heart damage. Insurance company doesn't care. At $750/day I can't afford to just pay for it out of pocket.

I just needed to vent. I'm in a really dark place right now. I feels like the rug has been yanked out from under me.

Jillann