Hi Yaku, thanks for updating us on your session. I do think the key is titrating your revelations to T so they don't overwhelm you and leave you in a place where containment is so difficult. I think when we are facing old trauma that we need to be aware of how much our body and mind can handle at one time. Those defenses are there for a reason. As you feel safer with T you will be more able to get past that wall of resistance. You know I've been complaining recently about how frustrated I have been with that damn wall. That I approach it and then freeze up or lose my words and go blank. I think we had to discuss some other things first, like how to help me leave, how to help with the dissociation and I just needed to work on feeling safer and closer to my T. Our last two sessions have been really good and I have been able to trust more and move closer and open that door just a crack and let some stuff out.

I think what you are doing... working on the frame of therapy and working on the trust/safety aspect will help you to move forward in reaching inside to bring your T the hard stuff, the painful stuff. It will happen in time. Remember, the slower you go the faster you will get there.

Hugs
TN

quote:

That I approach it and then freeze up or lose my words and go blank. I think we had to discuss some other things first, like how to help me leave, how to help with the dissociation and I just needed to work on feeling safer and closer to my T.

Yes, these are exactly the type of things we have been focusing on. Thanks for sharing where you and your T are at and I'm so glad things are starting to open up a bit for you with your wonderful T. Really good to see you call him your T and not your NewT too, though I know that is sometimes the case. I just really see you growing closer lately, despite what a hard journey it sometimes seems to be and it is really heartwarming to witness. I am so happy for you each time you are able to take another step toward him and learn that he won't run away or invade you, but will be totally safe, just like you need and deserve. (((TN)))