Yeh confuzzled, I feel very strange feelings around authority figures too - definately want to impress them, sometime unconsciously intimidate them (as I am pretty clever apparently!) and also I want to feel part of their group somehow, even to the extent that quite a few well known people are kind of my friends by me just plugging away at meeting with them and email and such, in a work capacity 'of course' !
It shows some of our feelings of personal inadequacy I am sure, and maybe lack of confidence - it is harmless, and a lot of people do it, you can bet on that.
People also do it to me, and I don't mind. I see that it is harmless and I am aware of what is going on.

Hi confuzzled, welcome to the forum!!

I do somewhat the same thing, in that I only really enjoy being around people who are older than me, by at least 10 years. I did this in school too, I would much rather be friends with and talk to any of my teachers who were in their 30’s, early 40’s, than any of my peers. I also want to impress teachers, certainly not by doing my homework or anything, but by how much more mature I was then anyone else My T has said that I want to prove that I’m just as good, and that I fit in and have things in common with people who are in their 30’s, when really our life experiences are significantly different (I’m 19). I just think people my age are way too immature, and I really don’t have anything in common with them. You didn’t say if you were currently in therapy, but if you are I hope you’re able to talk to your T about all this

Hi Confuzzled,

Just want to welcome you to the forums here. I like your name as well! Looking forward to getting to know you!

Hey everyone. Thanks for the quick replies. At least I know now that I am not the only one that experiences this. I never bring it up around friends because I think that it would be a very awkward conversation.

Yes I am currently in therapy although I am only able to go every 3-4 weeks. I am currently just finishing off a degree and counseling is provided by the school but it gets busy sometimes so the wait times increase. I am also going to be terminating with my T soon since I cannot see them after I leave school.

The thought of talking with my T about this terrified me. I don't even know how I would start to bring this up with T because they are one of the ones I feel this way about. Any suggestions?

Welcome confuzzled...that's a cute name. I could've written your post I have a huge issue with authority figures, too. For me I am scared of them like scared I will insult them or make them hate me, and I am scared that I want them to love me. It gets weird. Ithink the best thing to do is talk to your T. You could just say "there is something I find hard to discuss and that I feel like I need to discuss...can you help me?" that might be a good way to open the conversation...

anyway, hope this helps a bit...welcome here, you are in good company!

BB

Hi Confuzzled (love it)

I can relate to BB and Df- While I am afraid of them at times, I also frear that I will piss them off unaware and fear their anger toward me.
And for me- oh yes this is definately related to my relationship to my father.

welcome to the boards- lots of friendly (not scary- but strong) folks here.

Mayo

quote:

I have a quick question about interactions with people in authority. I have realized that whenever I am around people in authority (such as my doctor, therapist, a research coordinator for a study I'm participating in), I tend to want to impress them as much as possible, I want to get to know stuff about them, I admire them, I want to add them on facebook (even though I know that that is crossing some major boundaries).

Hi Confuzzled,
Welcome to the forums, I'm glad you decided to post. I love your username although I'll probably end up calling you fuzzy at some point.

I just wanted you to know that I could have written this post. I've felt that way about authority figures my whole life. For me, it turned out to be me searching to get the love, care and nurture I should have had as a child and didn't. It was in working with and talking about these feelings for my therapist (and those oh so necessary but maddening boundaries) that the healing work got done.

Any person in authority tends to evoke feelings about our parents, since parents are the first authority figures we have. I once read somewhere an author cautioning father's about their great responsibilites because our understanding and belief of who God is, is often based on our early experiences with our fathers.

quote:

The thought of talking with my T about this terrified me. I don't even know how I would start to bring this up with T because they are one of the ones I feel this way about. Any suggestions?

I totally understand the terror, I experienced it too many times not to. But I also think you're noticing these feelings is a really good thing, and that they would be very important to discuss. I just mentioned this in another thread but I've often found that a good way to start when facing this kind of subject, is to tell your therapist that you want to talk about something but you're really scared of their reaction or how to even begin. That allows your therapist both to reassure you about it's being ok to talk about it and help you figure out how to.

Looking forward to getting to know you better!

AG