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Draggers , just sending 
to all Draggers big and small.
Little flutters each day be it minute by minute if you all need to take it that way
from the big and small Pingles xxxx
to all Draggers big and small.Little flutters each day be it minute by minute if you all need to take it that way
from the big and small Pingles xxxx
((DRAGGLES)) It really makes me sad to see what you and your little cp's are trying to endure. I'm really sorry that I can't be of much help, but want you to know that I am thinking of you, and hope that you can be as gentle with yourself as possible.
I don't have much advice to offer - but wanted to send some warmth your way
quote:So my protectors and elders etc can really upset the little cp's and terrorize them, literally.so even if they are allowed to talk or what ever, they still do a lot of damage internally if they are pissed.
I can so relate to how you're feeling and specifically this quote. We've had a few crises lately specifically due to protectors (maladaptive) was of dealing with some horrible messages that are being reinforced right now and my and CPs attempts to believe we're worth protecting, fighting for and do so.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Therapy is sometimes so hard I wonder the same thing, and can feel trapped, needing it, but feeling like all the stuff it brings up (especially with attachment) is making things worse.
Just lots of hugs to you and you're not alone!
(((Draggers)))
I know the kinds of struggles I go through with my feelings of ambivalence about therapy and nothing is more cruel than the internalized voice of my abusive parent. It leaves me a little breathless to contemplate what is is like for you when these opposing feelings and introjects have a separate identity striving to be heard. You must feel so trapped, not able to stay or go. I am sorry. Please reach out for whatever kind of help you need and keep yourself safe. I hope you are able to quiet things down in your system soon and find some peace and rest. Lord knows, you deserve it. Wish I could do more, but will by praying for you, and sending much love Shimmerwings.
love,
AG
I know the kinds of struggles I go through with my feelings of ambivalence about therapy and nothing is more cruel than the internalized voice of my abusive parent. It leaves me a little breathless to contemplate what is is like for you when these opposing feelings and introjects have a separate identity striving to be heard. You must feel so trapped, not able to stay or go. I am sorry. Please reach out for whatever kind of help you need and keep yourself safe. I hope you are able to quiet things down in your system soon and find some peace and rest. Lord knows, you deserve it. Wish I could do more, but will by praying for you, and sending much love Shimmerwings.
love,
AG
((((Draggers)))
Inner conflict is so difficult, and like with any conflict, you often can't please everybody all at once, so please don't blame yourself for what is happening. It is not surprising that parts of different ages have different feelings and reactions to T not being there. I am so sorry that I can't offer any help, but you are wise and know yourself and your little ones so well go with your heart and look out for the parts who maybe seem to need the most care.
I hope it gets easier for you - it is so hard to work through these times, especially when you feel you are doing it alone. Please know we are here and rooting and caring for you
fishy
Inner conflict is so difficult, and like with any conflict, you often can't please everybody all at once, so please don't blame yourself for what is happening. It is not surprising that parts of different ages have different feelings and reactions to T not being there. I am so sorry that I can't offer any help, but you are wise and know yourself and your little ones so well
go with your heart and look out for the parts who maybe seem to need the most care. I hope it gets easier for you - it is so hard to work through these times, especially when you feel you are doing it alone. Please know we are here and rooting and caring for you
fishy
Sorry you are in hell Drags.
This is happening to me right now too.
I had 1 90 minute session. I then sit in my car for 60 mins spewing bad psycho stuff in an email to other T. Go home, take an anti anxiety med, be a mom for a while, sleep for 3 hours, then go out in public and do jobs, get stressed, get emotional, get an email from H telling me of urgent business work that I should have done, was out in public and shopping, came home took another anti anxiety med. Felt like my head was exploding with therapy, torture, stress, pressure, all the things in the quote above and so I put my head down and woke up 12 hours later.
I think I was 'Normal" for 2 hours out of the 24 hours. This is not life. This is what my therapy is like when I am attached, my T is changing things, we are not connected properly, I need more from her and she can't give it. Withdraw, cancel, terminate.
I hate this stuff
SD
quote:my head feels like its going to explode....ive got little cp's crying constantly begging to see T and ive got the elders all really very forceful saying they dont want to go back and are furious with my T for certain things and with me for being so bloody hopeless. Sad . i feel like im being pulled in all directions. Yet i cant just quit !!!and obviously, even if i could i cant cos of the littlest cp's who are now cracking up.
This is happening to me right now too.
I had 1 90 minute session. I then sit in my car for 60 mins spewing bad psycho stuff in an email to other T. Go home, take an anti anxiety med, be a mom for a while, sleep for 3 hours, then go out in public and do jobs, get stressed, get emotional, get an email from H telling me of urgent business work that I should have done, was out in public and shopping, came home took another anti anxiety med. Felt like my head was exploding with therapy, torture, stress, pressure, all the things in the quote above and so I put my head down and woke up 12 hours later.
I think I was 'Normal" for 2 hours out of the 24 hours. This is not life. This is what my therapy is like when I am attached, my T is changing things, we are not connected properly, I need more from her and she can't give it. Withdraw, cancel, terminate.
I hate this stuff
SD
You are NOT a loser Drags. Go and see P tomorrow. You encouraged me to go see a GP and I hadn't done that in decades!!! If I can do that - then you can go too.
Time for some time out for you Drags, too much is happening inside you and you need to take some time for everyone to feel safe, calm and to get along. It is going to be ok. We will all be here for you.
SD
Time for some time out for you Drags, too much is happening inside you and you need to take some time for everyone to feel safe, calm and to get along. It is going to be ok. We will all be here for you.
SD
Big back at you.
back at you.
(((Daggers))) In no way shape or form are you a loser. You, in fact, are the opposite of a loser. Do you know how much strength it takes to do what you're doing? I've talked to a lot of people who are struggling with lots of levels of their life...and I would never think they were a loser. Losers give up. You are not giving up. No matter who you are fighting for (your kids, yourself), the important thing is that YOU ARE FIGHTING. Sorry to get all shouty there...but I just hate that you think of yourself as a loser. I just hope you know that in other people's eyes, you are not even close to a loser.
((DRAGGLE)) I think on this forum you can see how ***ALL OF US*** are in ***AGREEMENT*** that ***YOU*** ***ARE NOT** A LOSER!!!!!! Its very obvious that you are loved and really cared about by all of us who know what a kind, loving, sweet, intelligent and caring "Draggles" that you are. You aren't seeing the truth right now, because you are in a lot of pain and anxiety, so it very hard to see the reality of the truth about yourself. Trust us, you are "NOT A LOSER"! You will get through this, and see the light at the end of the tunnel and see the goodness in yourself, but sometime the search can be tough because of all the turmoil inside. Sorry for being on my soapbox and getting a bit loud at you, but I care, and I don't want you swallowed up in giving yourself a verbal beating, that's not true. A million
You give SO much to so many on this forum (and it's obvious even to those of us that don't comment that often) and it speaks to your true character. You can't fake the depth of your care up. Hang in there.
Draggles
Just wanted to leave some hugs here for you.
You are a dear kind person. Reaching out to me as you yourself are struggling. Sometimes we all overestimate what we are ready for. I'm sure your P will respond to you with approriate kindness. I hope you can find peace within again soon.
Jillann
Just wanted to leave some hugs here for you.
You are a dear kind person. Reaching out to me as you yourself are struggling. Sometimes we all overestimate what we are ready for. I'm sure your P will respond to you with approriate kindness. I hope you can find peace within again soon.
Jillann
(((DRAGGERS)))
I have a protective part that always wants to split and run while there is another part that really needs the connection. I so get where you are coming from. I cancelled an appointment with my T. I thought about it ahead of time and really thought I would be okay with the cancellation. As soon as I got in my car and drove away from his office, the part that needs connection crashed. It was awful. By the time I called back to see if I could have my apt. back, they had given it away though T got me in anyway.
I told T how I crashed and asked him how the heck am I supposed to know how I'm going to react when I don't seem to be aware of how I'm going to react? He told me that next time I think about cancelling an appointment, that I have to remind myself of that part. That actually happened this week - and I did NOT cancel my appointment though then the part that wanted to was NOT happy either. I can't seem to win either way.
Hopefully my two parts will start talking and come to some kind of an agreement. Actually, right now, I'm making the part that wants to run acknowledge and respect the part that needs connection because I'm happier generally when I feel connected to people.
Sorry if I rambled too long but if you're a loser, I am too because I do the same thing. It's just our parts wanting different things.
I have a protective part that always wants to split and run while there is another part that really needs the connection. I so get where you are coming from. I cancelled an appointment with my T. I thought about it ahead of time and really thought I would be okay with the cancellation. As soon as I got in my car and drove away from his office, the part that needs connection crashed. It was awful. By the time I called back to see if I could have my apt. back, they had given it away though T got me in anyway.
I told T how I crashed and asked him how the heck am I supposed to know how I'm going to react when I don't seem to be aware of how I'm going to react? He told me that next time I think about cancelling an appointment, that I have to remind myself of that part. That actually happened this week - and I did NOT cancel my appointment though then the part that wanted to was NOT happy either. I can't seem to win either way.
Hopefully my two parts will start talking and come to some kind of an agreement. Actually, right now, I'm making the part that wants to run acknowledge and respect the part that needs connection because I'm happier generally when I feel connected to people.
Sorry if I rambled too long but if you're a loser, I am too because I do the same thing. It's just our parts wanting different things.
(((((draggers)))))
I think the world of you and wanted to leave some hugs and support here. I'm sorry things are so painful now
I think the world of you and wanted to leave some hugs and support here. I'm sorry things are so painful now
((((Dragglepuss/pcd))))) so sorry not to have been around when you're going through such a hard time. You're right, most of us wouldn't understand how it is to be a multiple - hard enough being a single sometimes! So pleased you're going to see P - hopefully he can help to keep you safe. You will get through this awful time Draggers and all your friends here will help as much as possible.
Love and hugs, Morgs
Love and hugs, Morgs
(((draggers))) hope you're feeling a little better! and in my eyes you could never ever be a loser!
puppet
puppet
omg! I just realized that I've been calling you (and thinking of you in my head as) daggers, not draggers! Have you noticed this?? I'm so sorry to miss that very important R in your name! I think I'm going to blame it on my Boston heritage, where we drop all the Rs in eve(r)ything. Anyway, I apologize and I'm so sorry you're struggling right now.
Also, Pengs, you read me so well
No, I am not a shouty individual at most times in my life, but yes, I did feel the necessity to shout the NO YOU ARE NOT A LOSER thing, purely for the importance of the message. DRaggers, Pengs, hugs to you.
Also, Pengs, you read me so well
No, I am not a shouty individual at most times in my life, but yes, I did feel the necessity to shout the NO YOU ARE NOT A LOSER thing, purely for the importance of the message. DRaggers, Pengs, hugs to you.