Lizzygirl

There is a thread (I think it’s Pippi’s ‘therapist cancelled’ thread but sorry I can’t do links) where some discussion of interviewing therapists is going on. I also think there is an article on the Shrink Forum website talking about what sorts of questions to ask as well.

I know when I’ve been interviewing Ts for the job I’ve had very specific questions in mind, I even take a list in with me so I don’t forget because Ts are very good at meandering way off topic and asking ME questions and before you know it time’s up and I’m left with most of my questions unanswered.

I have managed to ask everything (not that I get the right answers most of the time lol). Usually I’ve tailored the questions to find out as much as I can about whether the T is capable of understanding me - this involves giving a really clear ‘potted history’ of my set up and what I think I want from therapy (groan but that changes all the time). Basically though it’s not the answers to the questions themselves that gave me an idea of whether the T would be ok or not, it was HOW they answered the questions.

What sorts of things do you want in your new P? That’s a good question to think about because it might give you a clearer idea of what to ask. Good luck with it anyway.

I am glad this topic is current. I've read your posts and visited one link. Thank you. I feel ready for the interview in thirty minutes with a new T.

deeplyrooted

Good luck deeplyrooted Let us know how it goes..

starfish

Met with the new P this am. Did I interview him, no. I didn't come up with any questions for him. Duh! I handed him some assessments from my current therapists so I wouldn't have to exert so much energy explaining my life. Now I'm trying to grade him on the dork scale
of 1-10. I think he's an 8. Seeing him would be very sensible as he is in the same practice as my PCP, and more affordable than my current
P. I wouldn't have to travel to see him. My PCP could consult with him and vise versa.
I'm sure he is competent at dispensing the meds.
But, I'm weighing all this sensibility against the dork factor. Of course, I only spoke to him for an hour so maybe I'm wrong. I'm confused what to do.

Hi Lizzygirl - wondering what you did re this new P - and what was it that set off your dork alarm? I can see some things I could live with (a bow tie, for example) but others would be tougher (talking in cliches). Mind you sometimes my T says stuff that makes me roll my eyes because it's so well-rehearsed, but I find it in me to forgive her (when I'm in a good mood) because she's genuine much of the time.

I am working with her on a list of what I want in a new T, and this week we prioritized them. My list:
-Experience
-Experience as client in therapy
-Able to work psychodynamically (esp with language and imagery)
-Older than me
-Gender (???)

The gender issue is a weird one. My t says her instinct and her clinical judgement is that it would be good for me to have a man. I'm playing this cool - "oh, well, it would be more intense, I guess, but I'm sure I could handle it...".

I fear it would be a minefield of triggers. And I know that the most likely (possibly the only) male candidate at my T's practice is my age, tragically good-looking, and (thanks, google) shares a couple of my major personal interests as serious hobbies (and because of the nature of these I'm guessing he's single). Weirdly these things are likely to make it harder for me to take him seriously if I end up with him - I suspect I would experience stronger transference with someone who is older and uglier. But maybe she will suggest someone else anyway.

It's good, though, to know what I want, and REALLY good to be able to share (some of) my anxieties about starting again with my current T. Some things I want I haven't really put on the list, because it seems like they should be self evident - i.e. not crazy, good boundaries, really smart. The first two I said to her and she talked to me about them but didn't put them on the list. The third I feel too silly to say (vain and how would you measure that, anyway?).

hey lizzygirl...just wondering how things are going with the new T? Are you settling in? How is the dork factor?
Jones, I think it is interesting that you think it would be more intense with a man. Maybe that is what my problem has been all along. It's almost like it's just whoa, too powerful. But I also can't afford financially to go from one T to another, so I guess for me it was really good that I just "cut to the chase" so to speak.

BB

BB

I decided not to change P at this time.
I'm going through some difficulty with medication and didn't think it would be a good time to change. However, I have decided that
he is a dork and that I prefer to stay where I'm at. The drive isn't that bad, actually gives me some private thinking time away from my husband, gets me off the farm, and the reimbursement is about the same. Gas costs would be the only issue financially.

My current P has been very supportive during my T vacation, pinch hitting for him. He even let me email him a couple of times.

As far as gender goes, I need a man
I believe I'm looking for comfort from a man that I dont receive from my husband, and interaction with a man who isn't abusive. There are good guys out there. I have no interest in seeing a woman therapist.