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Is boredom a sign of being "done"?

heldincompassionheldincompassionMember
I originally started therapy thinking I'd just be going for a few weeks, because I wanted to get a quick, CBT style "fix" for a recurring phobia that was negatively impacting my life. The phobia did indeed clear up to a significant extent after only a few weeks, but in those early sessions of working with my T I began to realize how much more there was to sort through in my life. I decided to stick around, quickly formed an attachment, and have now been with T for over seven months, during which we've accomplished some pretty significant work. I still have problems, but on the whole I feel much lighter and more peaceful than I did when I originally started therapy.

Anyway, I've noticed a new feeling and attitude in myself over just the last few sessions, and that is-- I'm starting to feel bored talking about my past, both the cult recovery stuff and the FOO issues. Before I've had stronger feelings regarding discussing these matters. Most of the time I felt an urgency to talk, to get it all said and out. Sometimes I felt deep anxiety, fear, guilt, and avoidance when it came to talking about those things. I worked hard to push through all of that.

Now it feels different. Sometimes in a session I'll start with talking over or attempting to process something from the past, as usual, but I quickly get bored. I find myself thinking, "Oh yeah, all that stuff." and wanting to change the topic and talk about something that is of more interest to me now-- like my marriage, or parenting my daughter, my present day relationship with my mom, or my struggles with religion.

Could this mean I'm actually *done* with processing the past? It's a curiously blank but not unpleasant feeling. Maybe I'm just experiencing a lull, taking a psychic break from all the intensity.

Either way I don't think I'm done with therapy, because I want T's continued support with my present day issues, but I'm wondering if this strange and sudden "take it or leave it" feeling about discussing my past signifies an important turning point, or something else altogether. More denial, maybe? I hope not, lol.

I will talk with T about this at my next session, but meanwhile I wondered if any of you had any thoughts or similar experiences you'd care to share.

Thanks for reading,
heldincompassion
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ravenravenMember
quote:
I originally started therapy thinking I'd just be going for a few weeks, because I wanted to get a quick, CBT style "fix" for a recurring phobia that was negatively impacting my life. The phobia did indeed clear up to a significant extent after only a few weeks, but in those early sessions of working with my T I began to realize how much more there was to sort through in my life.


I don't know if it means your done or not. I found it interesting that what you wrote here totally describes me. I originally went in for a few EMDR sessions because it had worked well on a friend. Well....it's been 15 months and so much crap to sort through that I never thought affected me! I get the whole bored at times feeling too ~ but I don't know if I'm done, or she's not working for me anymore, or I'm just stuck. I hope your T has good insight for you!
strummergirlstrummergirlMember
Hi HIC,
quote:
Maybe I'm just experiencing a lull, taking a psychic break from all the intensity.

That's what it sounds like to me. When I first started therapy I talked a LOT about the past stuff at first, then as time went on, talked much more about the present day concerns (marriage, parenting, etc.), at least at the beginning of the session. However there were many times that talking about the present led back to talking about the past (like when beliefs and/or feelings in the present didn't seem to entirely fit the situation, often T would suggest maybe some of it was from past associations - so talking about the past first definitely helped me sort things out in the present). Then again, there were times it didn't lead back to the past, we just stayed in "today". But at any rate, I definitely don't think you sound like you're in "denial". Just needing to talk about something else for a while. I hope your next appointment talking with your T about it helps to clarify. Big Grin

SG
heldincompassionheldincompassionMember
Thanks, Raven, muff, and Strummergirl for sharing your thoughts.

I intended to come back to this thread before now-- apologies if anyone thought I was ignoring them! I do really appreciate and think about every reply I get to things I post on here. I guess I've been waiting to see if I had a sudden flash of insight into what is going on with me so that I could update with that, lol, but I'm still not sure. It's just so different for me-- I've always been either anxious, eager, or fearful to talk about past events with T, boredom feels so out of character.

Maybe it has something to do with pregnancy. . . knowing the baby will be here in a few months might be making me feel the need to be more present oriented and to sort of "press pause" on my immersion in the past for awhile, so to speak.

Still haven't gotten a chance to talk this over with T. I'm looking forward to my session next week. . .
L lieseMember
((((HELD))))

Just found this thread and wondering if you ever resolved your feelings of being bored. Did you ever talk to T about it? I'm going through something similar now. I know I'm not done with therapy but I am just feeling so bored by it. I could cut back to once a week but I'm afraid to. Now that the intensity is gone, I don't know what to talk about.
heldincompassionheldincompassionMember
Hi Liese,

Thanks for reminding me about this thread. I had actually forgotten all about it. It's interesting for me to re-read it now, looking back to that time and how things have changed since then.

I never did talk to T about it, and actually I don't think the bored feeling lasted very long, a few weeks at most. I did end up making a significant shift in my therapy around that time, though. For instance, I used to talk about past events and struggles for like 90% of a session, at least. Now it's more like 40%. For awhile I was sooo caught up in the past that my present day life seemed a bit dream like, I was vaguely aware that there were problems in the here and now but I really wasn't very interested in them or wanting to talk to T about them at all. I think when I wrote this post I was getting to that point where my current life was beginning to feel more interesting and engaging to me, but I hadn't yet taken the risk of letting T into it very much at all. That is different now, and it's been good. A good change. I feel, not perfect, but more integrated and alive.

There's also more spontaneity and play in my sessions now. I think back then I felt so driven and intense, dead serious about it all. Even though I would often talk about superficial things as a way of distancing in therapy, I was never lighthearted. Honestly I believe I was eight months into therapy before I would ever even smile at T at all! Now we engage in banter, humorous chit chat, whatever. T told me about a month ago that the difference in me now from when she first met me is like night and day.

Anyway, I don't think when I wrote this I was actually "done" with processing the past, and I don't think I'm done with that now, either. That sort of stuff still comes up a lot, but I feel as though my therapeutic journey has become a bit more meandering and relaxed. In retrospect, I now see those bored sessions as a kind of bridge spanning the then and the now.

Hope this helps some and makes sense. Take care. Hugs and best wishes for your healing,

Held
L lieseMember
Hi Held,

Oh I really like the way you are looking at the whole boredom thing. It's interesting because I do feel like I'm on a bridge of sorts also between the past and the present. The present feels so unfamiliar and scary. I guess all this old stuff has been keeping me company for all these years and now that the intensity is gone, it's hard to know how to organize my world. I'm not familiar with the feeling of being on level emotional ground. I'm used to the ground shifting all the time.

I think a part of me thinks I'm done processing the past but there is another part of me that doesn't think I'm done either. It's a weird spot to be in.

Thanks for updating. It was nice to hear how it turned out.

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