Yes. My H sometimes reminds me of my mom in certain ways. Transference doesn't always have to be based along gender lines. There are a number of things that could unconsciously remind you of an abuser, a look, using certain phrases or gestures, etc. In my case, my H can get dismissive and invalidating sometimes and that reminds me a lot of my mom.

Yep yep.

Sometimes, wether or ot someone "looks" like my abuser isn't the senerio. It could be the way they say something, their facial expressions, body language.

I'm sorry your going through that! I'm here if you need anything!

I appreciate the insight. Thank you. I am wondering if I should tell my therapist, or not. I don't want to have to discontinue seeing him because of this reason.

Hi Tas!
I think it would be helpful for both you and your T to let him know what you're going through. Perhaps there are specific triggers he could avoid?

I told my T that he fits the basic description of men I used to seek out, which was making my transference worse I guess, but there's nothing he could do about his appearance! I just wanted him to understand where I *think* part of the erotic transference has been coming from.

Yaks!! Same here! Posting about it elsewhere though, hope you chime in!

Take care,
Starry