I've turned to you for support before, and now I'm back. The surprising news is that it's NOT about MOM today!!! Shocking!

To bring you up to date, I don't really have any true friends in my life at the moment - except for (what I used to call) my best friend, Eric. We've known each other for nearly 20-years. He's the guy I call when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I have a question, or want to share anything. He lives 80 miles from me, and I can hear your thoughts, NO, we aren't, and have never been, nor have either of us ever wanted to be, more than platonic friends (no touching or kissing or even remote thoughts in that direction). Seems like whenever a man and a woman are mentioned in the same breath, one must define if they are sleeping together or not, as if that's all there is in the world. But who Eric has evolved into is someone closer to me than my own family. There is not one thing we haven't discussed openly, honestly, and without reservation. So ... when he came out as gay a few years ago, we discussed that at length. When he began fornicating with unsuitable men (he would say he wanted a solid, monogamous relationship, but would get guys online and have "friends with benefits" relationships with them) I would, as a big sister would, advise him against that path. THEN, a few years ago, he was pursued by a young - MUCH younger - boy via the online world. And he took the bait. He met the fellow with the intention of "teaching him the difference between love and infatuation", and then, here we are now, several years later, and they are still dating. Dating in the sense that he lives in one town and the boy lives in another. Eric has convinced his parents that what he is doing is lovely, and they have embraced the boy (Eric is 45 and the boy is 21 - this all started when the boy had just turned 19) to the point of sharing Thanksgiving dinner with him, and whenever Eric is with the boy, his parents are there too, as a foursome of sorts.

After struggling with this from so many directions (the boy is Muslim and over here studying at University) - so there is the gay thing, the 25 year age difference, the pedophile angle, the religious differences (Eric is a Jew, but is more Buddhist/Taoist), the fact that the boy can never reveal who Eric is to any of his friends or family, and so on --- I finally came to a place of not acceptance, but rather resolve: "This is happening whether I like it or not, whether I approve or not, and I can only let it be: it is what it is." Hearing Eric's Mom's take on the whole matter made me think if she's not crushed by this, why should I be?

T-H-E-N, I made a simple nice Sunday call to Eric only to hear the latest in his fantastical dream: He now wants to travel to Maui because a client has a house there that he can have for $1000 per week including car ... and ... marry ... the boy!!! Yes, I said, "Marry".

Usually, it's my Mom that smacks me in the face with such bullshit, but this time it was Eric. I had to stop myself from LAUGHING, it was so ridiculous. Eric can't even afford to have his car fixed, but in his merry dream world he sees himself bringing his friends and family to Maui so that we can witness this atrocity. (In my opinion.)

You know how this makes me feel? Like my rock, my foundation, has lost his freaking mind. He has become a helium balloon and is floating out to space. It's like he has Alzheimer's --- the friend I used to know is no more. That sane, reasonable person is gone, consumed by fantasy.


Would really like to hear your thoughts.



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