((RT)) Sorry if my recent post contributed to this feeling at all. I can relate to feeling ashamed for wanting hugs and comfort too.

Sorry. I know I get a lot from my T and I always worry when I share that it hurts others who don't have it for whatever reason. I often think it is too much and maybe something bad I did (I have a thread about that somewhere).

I have extremely limited outside contact with my T compared to most here. Yet it has always felt like more than enough somehow like she is unlimitedly available during the allotted times she has, and sometimes even on the days she's not in the actual office. I do get jealous at times, too.

No need for shame here. I know I'm not alone when I sometimes wish I could get this from my T, too. T is completely hands off, and I have no email/text contact at all. I'm allowed to leave messages on Ts voicemail, but T doesn't call back unless I specifically ask (yeah, like I'm gonna ever do that!)

Yes, I get jealous of others that have the email/text/hug privileges. I know T has the boundaries that T has for me because it's in my best interest, and I appreciate and respect that.

But I still want those forbidden fruits sometimes.

quote:

(A long time ago) I once asked - pleaded with - my T to shoot me. She said she couldn't. I asked her why, and she said, "Because I love you."

RT,
Saw this over on the "Check In" thread and just wanted to share with you that NEVER in a million years will I hear those words ever pass my Ts lips. I do believe he loves me, we've talked about it but he will not say it to me. So I felt a little envious when I read this.

I will never be hugged, so at times it can be hard to read of other people getting that (I don't want them to hesitate to speak of it however!)

I will never have a regular standing appointment, he doesn't work that way.

My point being that all of us have things others want and all of us want things others have. Part of the human condition. I suspect part of therapy is our learning to deal with this conundrum. I'm better at some times than others. I think it is a good, and important thing, that you are aware of these feelings and even better, spoke of them.

AG