Hi Meta4, welcome to the forums! I am totally buried at work and have a lot more to say but I didn't want you worried about not getting a response. My short answer is that I have struggled with all the feelings that you are struggling with and there all reasonable reactions and nothing to feel bad about. I'll write more as soon as I have time!

AG

Hi meta4,

quote:

Waiting for the reply is excruciating, I have actually checked my inbox over a hundred times. It's been 3 days since I emailed it, and that little voice inside me saying "she's forgotten about you" is getting louder.

I have found myself literally staring at the mail indicator for hours at a time in this situation. I have finally come to the conclusion that, for me, the best thing is to write the e-mails and then put them in my journal instead of sending them. The constant anxiety between when I send an e-mail and when I receive a reply is just no longer worth it to me. Unfortunately, then I'm left with this feeling like I'm not good enough to e-mail my T, which is not true, but I feel it nonetheless.

Don't forget that the internet eats e-mail sometimes, as do spam filters.

Sorry for the kinda depressing reply, reflects my mood at the moment I'm sure she hasn't forgotten, she probably wants to address the contents in a session. You could give her a call if it would put your mind at ease.

quote:

My father and I see the same therapist. This never bothered me before, as this T knows the situation and has spoken to all of us before.

Both therapists I've seen have been pretty adamant that they work with me only and not anyone related to me (such as my husband.) The therapists needs to be on *your* side, so to speak. So, you might consider if this is the best situation for you. There may be no easy answer here, since having a good connection with your T is also extremely important.

Hello and thanks for the replies Attachment Girl, Hummingbird and Z!

Z- About 2 mins after I posted on here I received the email. I'm beginning to think it's best not to email on the holidays. I have way too much time to dwell over it than when I'm at school.

quote:

Both therapists I've seen have been pretty adamant that they work with me only and not anyone related to me (such as my husband.) The therapists needs to be on *your* side, so to speak. So, you might consider if this is the best situation for you. There may be no easy answer here, since having a good connection with your T is also extremely important.

This is exactly what I'm afraid of. That if I tell her my feelings that she'll think it's best I see someone else. I'm not ready to let go of her...

quote:

Originally posted by meta4:
Anyway, I'm currently stuck in that horrible place in between sessions when I yearn for contact from her. She's okay with me emailing my thoughts in between sessions. The other night I sent her an email when I was very anxious, confused and on the verge of self-harming (it's been a year since I last cut). Waiting for the reply is excruciating, I have actually checked my inbox over a hundred times. It's been 3 days since I emailed it, and that little voice inside me saying "she's forgotten about you" is getting louder.

quote:

Originally posted by Z:
I have found myself literally staring at the mail indicator for hours at a time in this situation. I have finally come to the conclusion that, for me, the best thing is to write the e-mails and then put them in my journal instead of sending them. The constant anxiety between when I send an e-mail and when I receive a reply is just no longer worth it to me. Unfortunately, then I'm left with this feeling like I'm not good enough to e-mail my T, which is not true, but I feel it nonetheless.

Thank you for posting this. I honestly thought I was the only one in the world that went through this agony waiting for mail. It is comforting to know I am not alone.