Hello friends! Just want to say hi to all and I hope people are doing well! Wow! Have y'all ever had an explosion of forums! Interesting! Particularly the one on Adult Children of alcoholics. That is a concept that really applies to a lot of us, regardless of the alcohol factor, as so many characteristics are the same for the emotionally unavailable parent/s. I hate to say, but I recall hitting all 13 characteristics. I say that, just in case some of yall disregard that forum as the alcohol issue doesn't mesh.


I am still doing PA, money wise, I have had to drop to once a week, but, I read somewhere that some PA once said that he would rather have a paint come once a week for five years - than five days a week for one year. So, that may be my forecast. I still like him, although sometimes I wish he was a bit more confrontational. I'm going to tell him that on monday.

He has said I am NOT borderline, but maybe more possibly cyclothymic. A new term for mr, but means briefly one that cycles through up and down moods, but not at the depth or mania extent of the spectrum...so if a bipolar cycles from 1 - 100, a cyclothymic person may be more moderate at 15 - 85 (ish). Anyway, that makes sense to me...I have always "eye-balled" bi-polar as a possibility. Too, my p put me on neurontin 300mg for migraine prevention, and it is a drug used for bi-polar (Im sure she saw the two bricks with one stone angle), and where I used to have a headache 20 days a month or so, now, I have only had two days this past month, and much milder. AND, I think my mood feels more stable, so, if that helps you, mull it over with your p!

I'm really doing pretty well, miss y'all, but I get so hyper focused on stuff, it was good to pull away.

I am taking a painting class, and have been approached about showing my work in a gallery! And, I am helping a friend market her new business. So, life moves forward, and I haven't felt hopeless in awhile!

Dr. PA is a dear man. Very Carl rogersish which I grumble about aloud to him as I don't want his belief in me to just be ratty old positive regard. I understand criticism much better, I tell him. He does get on some things, but he maintains that reality testing "me" versus my concept of "me" just doesn't stack up. I am still suspicious though.

I am less attached in some ways, and that is maybe ok. Or, maybe I just feel secure. I don't know. But, I don't think he is going to kick me out. He may fall asleep, but, maybe I could handle that better than the last time!

Anyway, I think of y'all often, and I wish everyone a great Easter! Xxoo. Jill