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9 replies

Kind of scared to go back to therapy

C cmae1186Member
I have had off and on (mostly on except for recently) anxiety my whole life, whether it's hypochondria or fear of death anxiety. I have this new boyfriend who is amazing, and made the decision to switch from Zoloft to Wellbutrin which has been hard because the zoloft did a great job of suppressing most of my anxiety but caused sexual side effects that I didn't like. Well since I'm more fragile now, someone said something the other day that set me off and now I'm obsessing with worry that I'm going to get in a depression spiral and get really bad again. I don't want to mess things up with this guy who I've been with 6months now and can really see a future with.
I decided to be proactive and start seeing a new therapist, my old one just listened to me complain and didn't really offer any ideas or coping methods for any of my deep issues. But I'm worried that going to someone new and having to rehash everything will make me feel WORSE. It's weird, I almost think that by talking about former depressive episodes that will make them come back or something. Is this ridiculous? My boyfriend recommended this lady as she really helped him through issues when his exgirlfriend got an abortion and helped his sister with her death anxieties.
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B bltMember
Welcome Glad you found the forum!

Is your boyfriend still seeing this T? It's probably not a good idea to share a T with your significant other, off the bat.

Aside from that...it seems like your issue is anxiety. And so you feel anxious about therapy too, like everything else. You know? I mean, I'm not saying therapy isn't really hard and reasonable to get anxious about. Just that you might have to push through the anxiety at first.
C cmae1186Member
He does not see this therapist any longer. I don't think I would have gone to see her otherwise.

This might sound ridiculous but I almost feel guilty asking them to send the records. I stopped seeing my last therapist a couple months ago because I was doing pretty good and no longer saw the need to go. I also pretty much thought she was ineffective... so I don't know why I'm worried about hurting her feelings, but I kind of am.
unbrokenunbrokenMember
Hi!

I can understand your hesitancy to request records but I think it would be a good thing to have as you embark on this journey with someone new. Therapy is a medical profession, and you wouldn't hesitate to request a copy of an x-ray or blood work would you? It's the same. I know it's harder because of the emotional entanglements that we get involved in, but any professional T would understand the need for a change, and why records are important. Smiler

Good luck on your new adventures. Hug two
Ease into the process.. and be gentle with yourself.
C cmae1186Member
You guys are right... I just sent an email in to the other practice to ask about transferring records. I never would have thought of having it sent over really.

I'm trying to keep myself busy until next wednesday when I go... I find the more I have to do the less I sit around feeling anxious. Unfortunately my plans for tonight fell through so I'm sitting around my sad empty condo by myself. I could have tried to tag along to my boyfriend's poker game but he's been so good to me. I don't wanna weedle in on everything he does. I told him yesterday I was worried that he was going to figure out how crazy I was and not want to be with me any more and do you know what he said? That I don't need to worry about that and part of his job is to help me be happy. SO of course I cried...

Here's hoping I make it to wednesday.
True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
Hi cmae and welcome Welcome
Your boyfriend sounds very caring. When I switched Ts I had my new T request a treatment summary from the oldT. I signed a form to enable the oldT to release information to my new T. Your oldT won't likely want to send the records directly to you but will send them to your new T so they can discuss what is in the file with you. They would better be able to interpret the notes and to explain things and help you with absorbing it all. It's a fairly common thing to do and it's basically called "Continuity of Care".

Usually when people suffer from severe anxiety it has its root in the past. Until you deal with and process any trauma or abuse of any kind from the past, the anxiety will probably stay with you. Anxiety can get mixed in with fears and it seems that you have some similar anxiety and fears that I suffer from as well.

Was your exT someone who addressed issues and feelings from your past to any extent? Do you know what kind of therapy that T practiced?

I hope the transfer of your records goes smoothly for you and that you have further success with this new T. Let us know how it goes for you.

TN
True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
cmae... some children have a sensitive biological system and are more prone to being anxious. How far back can you remember being nervous and anxious?

It's hard for me to offer more explanation because I don't know anything about your childhood, how you grew up or about your family. Have you talked about this type of thing with your former T? Or this new T?

I've always felt "unsafe" and anxious too. But I do know why I feel this way. There are real reasons at the root of my fears and anxiety.

TN

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