quote:

Just a small caveat – this is how I’m feeling today, I reserve the right however to change my mind completely the moment I have a lousy session Big Grin

Lamplight, I cracked up at your aside comment. OH, I think we've all been there. I know I have. I write posts about how much I am in love with T. How she is so caring, and accepting and how she's everything I have ever dreamed of... GAG! Then, there are posts that show me hating her something fierce. I get tired of her. She blocks my desires, wants, needs..wont give into my demands, wont hug me. Quite black and white my feelings for T are. OH, this Borderline Personality of mine!

I have had aha moments, too about how therapy is affecting my way of living life. So, I know T is working some sort of magic on me. LOL! Sometimes it's the slightest change, or the way I start thinking about things and it will be different than before.

I am sorry to hear that you've gone through so many T's. BUT, I am so happy that you finally found one that might work out well for you, and has thus far been proving his understanding and care for you. That's a special time. Enjoy it.

Best of luck--and love your updates. Keep them coming! I'll be looking for # 5,348,296!

--Broken

Lamplighter,

So nice to see your update. I've missed your posts and your threads a lot!

So glad to hear that you've found a nice T. Therapy CAN be really wierd and really confusing. I've been there. But that's great that this guy is not defensive and so accepting and accommodating. It all sounds very positive. And you deserve it.

xoxo

Liese

quote:

Here's another update in the continuing saga of LL and the 40 Ts.

HA HA HA!


BACK!!!!


I used to call it, "Mark's Magic."

LL!!! Good to see you, my friend! You are funny, as usual, and you will be sad to hear that since you left dear Monte has gone. I keep hoping she'll come back, but, of course it's her choice. I miss her though.

It is so darn good to see you again! How are the kitty-cats? Do you still have plural kitties? I am so glad to hear that you have a T you like, for now. One of these days you are going to just hit the T for you, and you will heal with the T and feel loads better. This might be the one, and if it is...I will be cheering for you!

LL, I did not think that I would ever find a T who could help me after I ended with Dr. ***** I was so sad, and I still am, deep inside, very sad. But, after meeting with a few I met Cowboy, whom I had met for some sessions about 7 years ago...and he is...like...just normal. It's like having a chat with a friend who really cares. He's down to earth, and it doesn't even feel like ~therapy~ it just feels normal and nice, and like I have someone I can talk to about *anything* and he is there and cares. Good enough. I'm not looking for any magic solutions from him...I'm just needing a friend...granted a friend that I pay for...but- he is still a friend. Last week, he tried to get to the bottom of why I cry when I go there...cause I was worried about it...and finally I said...I don't feel judged by you- and you are the first person ever (most definitely including Dr. *****) but that's because I pay you to not judge me...!" He laughed quite kindly, and said... "well, now we have got to the bottom of why you keep crying here...it is because you need someone to *not* judge you *without* having to pay for it." He is always...about me. and he doesn't mind that! He is friendly and nice, and just kinda a normal guy. The more I thought about, the more it struck me...how insightful his comment was. And, like your T- just totally non-defensive and very comfortable with who he is to me and what he can offer...no defenses *at all!* I am so glad that you have found a T like that...it's just...cool. It's nice to be able to go there and just be who you are, and not have to worry about their feelings, cause you know they have their own feelings under control enough to have something to give..

Please keep posting unless you feel it is going to definitely jinx your sessions...but, I just don't think it will, LL. Jinxes come from us, lots, I think- not always from things we can't control. I have a good feeling this time that you are on the right track with this T!

((((((((LL))))))

and one more...((((((LL))))))

so good to see you!

Love,

Beebs

(((( Broken )))) (((( Liese )))) (((( Mayo )))) and (((( Beebs ))))

Thanks so much for the welcome back and the words of support!

Hm interesting choice of the word ‘magic’ there, Mayo and Broken. But that’s what it feels like doesn’t it? Don’t worry give me time and I’ll break it all down into dry meaningless intellectual explanations I hope NOT!

Liese thanks for saying you missed my posts – it does feel strange having been away for what seems like ages so maybe it’s time I did a bit more posting to reconnect – nice to know someone missed reading them!

And Beebs, I am SO pleased to hear about how well things are going for you and Cowboy T. He really does sound like the epitome of non-defensiveness. Maybe doesn’t inspire the same heights (and depths) of emotion as GuruT, but it must be a HUGE relief to know that you can say (or not say) whatever you want and not feel judged or pressured or made to experience yourself as not saying/doing the right correct ‘therapeutic’ thing. That’s how I feel with newT. At the moment, anyway

It’s nice to be back!

LL

((((LL)))))

It's wonderful to hear from you, I have wondering how you were doing!

I am loving the sound of your new T! I suspect that he is engaging you in a right brain emotional way. My T always says that the important part of therapy is that we are attended to and our feelings are understood. That when someone pays attention that way, then we can feel like we matter. So his practicing empathy (that would be the mind-reading part and yeah, it is a little freaky, I've experienced that with my T) and attunement is what is actually helping you. Because it's not about "knowing" it's about experiencing. It's really good to hear you sounding so hopeful. And to seeing you out and about the place.



AG

LL,

So glad to see you again and to hear a positive report from your current T experience. I can really relate to what you say about things going on at a different level. I feel much of the work that I've done gets sorted as a behind the scenes sort of thing.

I hope that things continue to go well!!! Thanks for the update.

(((( AG )))) (((( STRM ))))

Thank you

LL

LL, so glad to see you back here!!! And glad things are going well with your new T in a way that seems very different from past experiences. You definitely deserve a good T, someone accepting and nonjudgmental. Please stick around and continue to let us know how it is going! ((((hugs))))

(((LL)))

It is great to hear from you. I've missed your posts. I'm happy to hear that you are feeling positive about your new T. He sounds like a good T. I also think it is worth remembering that I'm sure there will be moments and sessions that don't do as well and times you are upset but the relationship can be repaired.

I look forward to hearing more about it.

Thank you (((( Yaku )))) and (((( Incognito ))))

LL

quote:

Originally posted by Lamplighter:
something has gotten in on a subconscious level...

Anyone else had that experience, where whatever is going on in therapy, it’s happening on some other level than the one you think you’re talking about?

I have a growing list of Spiritual Directors and T's too!

The latest is T6, when we first met it was like we had a psychic connection for a while because I knew things about the place and him that I couldn't have known and he seemed to know a couple of things about me which he couldn't possibly have done without more contact. He did say he felt we had a connection, though that may be a technique some use, who knows. Anyway, I have gotten further with this one in a few sessions than I ever have with any of the others, even after a year with a couple of the others.

I did sense when I first met him that he had something going for him despite his casual dress, facial stubble and at times, distracted attitude. I actually felt fear which my daughter found amusing - she told me I had met my match there! lol It was the kind of fear when you know when you are in the presence of someone of great depth and evolvement. There was a sense that we were a gift to each other for maybe a few sessions or longer, who knows.

The other great thing is that he has inspired me to return to something that I had given up on a long time ago due to painful emotions associated with it, now I am renewed and interested in it again

You have to kiss a lot of frogs in the world of therapy before you find a prince, both of us should hang onto ours for a while I think